One of the best recommendations I've been given this year has come from a friend at church. We switched churches this year and began attending a Family Integrated Church near our house. It has been a wonderful experience for us as we decipher God's calling in our lives as parents of a large family and the unique challenges and abundant blessings that come from that calling.
A seasoned mother in our church told me about a book. "Raising Godly Tomatoes" is the name and tomato staking is the heart of the book. Not real tomatoes but rather our children.
The author has so many wonderful passages about children, raising them, loving them, schooling them, loving them...yes I said it twice on purpose. She points out that disciplining them, rather raising them in a disciplined, loving, consistent home is quite a gift.
The children are the tomatoes...she compares them to a real one. Tomatoes grow better when staked, held close to the stake to be supported, rooted, healthy, strong...
Children are similar. They need to be close, nearby, influenced, talked with, encouraged, struggle snuffed quickly, strife resolved swiftly, love spoken often...
Children need to be staked to the mother, or the father. They learn best that way. When staked to the parent they are given tasks, taught methods, trained, and spend time learning and watching the parent to learn how to be a woman or a man. It truly is a beautiful picture.
The hope is to stake when necessary, when we see strife or rough behavior, but also to focus on each of them at a specific time that we may be intentional with each of them independently as well as together. I'm sure it will take some learning, some time...But the hope is to nurture their growth, plant seeds of hope and love for Christ, mature them into arrows, that their direction will be clear and concise.
“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:7-9
Dear Mother, your little one’s hearts are gardens that need tending. Are you carefully cultivating the Word of God in their hearts, tilling with grace, watering with love, and warming with prayer? You can be sure that something will grow there. The question is, will it be the Word, or will it be weeds? --from At the Well
Tomato Staking
Influencing Your Husband
A Great Post from At The Well regarding the Positive Influence of a Woman:
Influence your husband. I recently read the book “Girls Gone Wise” by Mary Kassian, and wow! I was much more “wild” than I thought…not really in my actions, but in my heart, oh yes. When I got to chapter 18 of 20, I had already been made aware of my wildness, but yet I was reminded again. Here’s an introductory excerpt:
“The Lord created women with a unique relational bent. Therefore, women are powerful influencers – particularly in their relationships with men. How do we use this gift wisely? How can we make sure that we are influencing others in a positive way?”
I paused here. I pondered. Am I influencing my husband in a positive way? I continued…
“A wise woman knows that it’s not her words, but her behavior that carries the biggest clout when it comes to compelling change. The more Christlike you are, the more positive your influence will be. If you truly want to influence someone else for good, you won’t focus on changing his behavior. You’ll focus on changing your behavior. You’ll work at becoming more godly, and on interacting in a more godly way.”
Wow. So it’s not about our husband’s actions…but, it’s about our actions. It’s about a desire to change what we control, not control someone else. It’s about influencing by our life. I continued on further for practical application…
“A positive influencer is very wise and careful with her words. She wins others over “without a word.” She’s not a blabber, jabber, nagger, whiner, complainer, or yammerer. Nor does she use wiles, charms, smooth talk, or sweet talk to manipulate. She gives very little in the way of advice – so the little she says is extremely powerful and effective.
I don’t know about you, but this hits right at my heart. Many times in my interactions with my husband, I am not influencing him wisely, or positively, or effectively. It’s more of the blabbering, whining, charming kind of way…
When December Comes Toooo Fast
What is left are just the faint remnants of October and November and a few snaps of the camera to catch the fleeting moments. It seems we were just starting the school year, traveling through Egypt, learning about Moses and Noah and contemplating our sinful hearts...
Through the finger paint, coloring, field trips, math lessons, soccer, Karate, gymnastics, and exploring the human body... the days turned to minutes and we suddenly find ourselves into the holiday season.
The sparkling bows, Christmas trees, flashing lights, and joyful music now fills the air...
Promptly I felt badly for not being prepared, ready, equipped with my usual advent activities and ready to implant into their hearts, yet again, the True meaning of Christmas...
But, it was beyond my control, I couldn't back up, slow down, and prepare to be ready, I had to accept the moment...where I was sitting right that second.
I heard God whisper to me, "slow....slow down....the meaning can be found in the quiet."
In years past in my attempts to stir their hearts, build traditions, and impart a passion for Christ, I've noticed their boyish neglect of my efforts. They hear the stories, appreciate the moments together, but could never, at this stage, truly know the depth of my efforts or the cry of my heart.
Their boyish neglect or playful disregard at times affects my spirit...my idol is reveled and my desire to be the "perfect" mother trumps my ability to let the boys foolishness role...
So, this year, with the same intentions to draw them deeper, show them the true Light of Christmas, and stir passion in their hearts, we will SLOW...
Slow to pray...25 days of prayer...simple scriptures to sink deep in their hearts. Simple prayers that follow the Jesse Tree but without all the bustle of the tree itself.
Slow to self...25 days of praying for others...lifting up holiday needs for the ones we love.
Slow to truly follow Jesus...25 days of discussing Christs attributes.
True the slowing doesn't call for glitter, glue, scissors, or fancy trees, but rather quiet hearts. The training of the hearts of my man children to find the meaning in the quiet.
I pray as the countdown begins today that I too might find the moments to be still...to slow down...and be quiet...
To see again the True meaning to Christmas.
Walk with Him Wednesday
How do I calm the storms through the day enough to sing the Praises of the Lord?
For this question I lack an answer, a true, real, honest answer.
The voices of man child the Father gave to me, the laughter and the tears, filled with frustration and also frenzied joy...the volume is so loud at times I cannot overcome it with Praise.
My heart quietly sings it to Him when the moments are soft, as they are now, with blonde heads lay on pillows and brown pigtails softly wrapping her neck while she breathes deep...
Thank you Lord....breathing in and out as the rhythm is natural, given by God, written in His holy name, YHWH...Thank you Father...thank you...
If I could only be a reflection of constant Thanksgiving for my children, not subdued by the temptation to be exhausted or to curse the hard work laid before me...
But, rather to breathe Thanksgiving in ALL things....all things...
Each moment of opportunity to teach my children, to train them up...
To refuse the temptation to find it inconvenient, tiresome, exasperating...
Oh selfish me...longing to make myself god-like rather than to serve the True God...
Those moments with my children should feel and come to me like Gifts from the Father, to be snatched up and given Victory in Jesus as we carve their hearts and their spirits for Him...
For the carving is often done without the words but with the look and the tone and the unintentional communication from my heart to theirs...
Rather I long to live with Thanksgiving in my heart and a joyful smile on my face, even in the harsh moments of teaching and carving, which happens often, moment by moment, that the knife would never dull but rather miraculously, through God's grace continue carving...
That the noise and the business of raising five children would only lift my spirit to sing His praise for the gifts He gave cannot be measured by mere words but a state of being, a place of rest within me that I live in the moment of Thankfulness...
That I might breathe Grace....
Mercy...
Grace...YHWH...
Thank you Jesus for the blonde hairs upon their heads, ten fingers and toes, hearts that long to please, opportunities to seize, help me not to fail...to take the moment by the hand and guide it...
Toward You...
Thank you Lord...
Breathe Grace...
Then they too will Breathe Grace...
They too will echo my look, my tone, my communication, without the words...
They too will one day Breathe Thanksgiving...
My faith runs deep in so many things...I trust, obey, listen, petition...
In the thing God has given to me to do most abundantly, most routinely, most importantly, I lack the faith...
The faith to give Thanks because it requires Trust, Reliance, Vulnerability...
Why do I avoid vulnerability so...
To breathe grace upon those small faces, the future men, and the small, precious woman, in my life, would require to be vulnerable...to share saddness, disapointment, to let anger go and embrace the emotion behind it all...
My faith has a come to a curious end in this moment where I refuse to raise them in the light of God's rejoicing for ALL things and His abundant Grace and Mercy...
Father create in me a clean heart...
From Anne today:
"Our thanks to God is our witness to the goodness of God when Satan and all the world would sneer at us to recant."
"When I only give thanks for some things, aren’t I likely to miss giving God glory in most things?"
"Doesn’t God call His people to a non-discriminating response in all circumstances? “[G]iv[e] thanks always and for everything” (Ephesians 5:20 ESV)."
Preparing them to Launch...
A great little article from At the Well:
So this tiny, helpless baby is placed in your arms. You know the wonderful, overwhelming feeling of being totally responsible for this immortal human being. It’s like God handing you a blank canvas.
Your job is to raise this child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That’s no little job! I believe that a parent’s primary responsibility is discipleship. When I think of Jesus’ example as he walked with and taught his followers, pointing them always to the Father, revealing truth to them in the daily events of life, I can’t help think that we owe the same to our children. It’s intense, time-consuming and worth every second.
This prayer that Jesus prayed for His disciples is full of wisdom we can glean:
“I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word….For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them….While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe…I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world….My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one….Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world…” From John 16 & 17
But, the ultimate purpose is to grow them up. From the minute they are born, we are teaching them the next thing, helping them become more and more independent. From holding their own cup to getting dressed on their own then learning to cook or cut firewood, it’s a constant movement toward maturity. And we are to be growing them up spiritually all the same.
I want to carefully guide my children “in the way they should go,” but I want them to pick up from God’s Word and make it their own. I want them to obey as I lead them to God, but I want them to hunger for God themselves and desire the sweetness of His precepts.
I was talking to my brother about this and how I’m so grateful that the Lord is showing me how this works in my oldest daughter’s life. At 16, she now makes many decisions on her own, weighing them against the principles of truth. From her clothing to her choice of movies, books and music, if she were not able to discern these things for herself at her age, I would consider that we had possibly not done our job.
If our relationship is right, we will move from a position of establishing boundaries for our young ones, to one of sought-after counsel and guidance as they get older. But the ultimate goal is to raise children who, more and more, are able to discern, with the Spirit’s help, what God’s will is.
We’re raising men and women. We are passing the baton and handing down our legacy of faith. It’s easy for us to forget the goal. It’s easy to keep them in our “safe place” and just continue making their decisions for them. But that’s not why we’ve been given children. Arrows were meant to fly and leave our hands. Let’s be preparing them all the time for the launch.
Gates of Hell
From At the Well:
“I am much afraid that schools will prove to be the gates of hell unless they diligently labor in explaining the Holy Scriptures, engraving them in the hearts of youth. I advise no one to place their child where the Scriptures do not reign paramount. Every institution in which men are not increasingly occupied with the Word of God must become corrupt.” Martin Luther, A.D. 1537
Martin Luther’s quote is direct, yet honest and full of truth. Since Luther was a lover of the Word of God, His thoughts were likely based on how he viewed the Bible to be the beginning of all knowledge and how we, as humans, are nothing apart from God. Therefore, he determined that we need spiritual teaching above all other academic instruction. Do we need to throw aside reading, writing and arithmetic? Of course not. Since the foundation determines the stability of all else that is built above, we must look at what the groundwork of our children’s education is, as well as what it should be. Without diligent instruction about our Creator God; without a true understanding of what He desires for our lives, True wisdom and knowledge will never be attained.
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning [first-fruits; principle thing] of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:7
What is the fear of God? The fear of God to the believer is completely different than the fear of God to an unbeliever. A Christian’s fear of God would be one of reverence and awe, rather than the unbeliever’s fear of a God that has the ability to cast their soul into hell.
Who are those who despise the wisdom and instruction? Proverbs 1:7 says that they are fools. When that verse is directly translated, it says that those who despise the Lord’s wisdom are “silly.”
So, those who do not desire the knowledge that God freely offers through His Word are silly. Do most parents want to send forth from their home silly young adults?
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning [commencement; opening] of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy is understanding.” Proverbs 9:10
We are told that the origination of true wisdom begins with a fear of God and that understanding comes from the knowledge of the Trinity (the Hebrew word for “Holy” is indicative of the trinity – God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit – three in one).
Through biblical instruction we teach our children how to fear and truly know the Lord and His desires for our lives. In doing so we are opening the doors to true wisdom and understanding. The Hebrew word for understanding in the above verse is ‘biyn’ and means: to be cunning, diligent, direct, discerning, eloquent, (to) inform, instruct, have intelligence, (to) know, look well to, perceive, be prudent, (can) skill (-fully) teach, think, (cause, make to, get, give, have) understanding, deal wisely). When you look at what one will gain from a fear and knowledge of God, what more would any parent long for in their child?
“In not mentioning God, my public school teachers preached a thundering message daily. By implication they taught that God is not relevant to most areas of life…with every lesson, in every class period, all day every day for 12 years I was being taught to think like an atheist in the academic realm and didn’t even know that I was being indoctrinated.” - Chris Schlect, Scriptural Worldview Thinking
Schools that have little or no emphasis on Biblical teachings and instruction are producing young adults who act only what they have retained from their years of academic instruction. Most times they only have access to what is immediately available to them in the recesses of their human minds.
On the other hand, young adults who were trained for their role in God’s Kingdom will possess an unspoken and spiritually-powerful wisdom from God. They will not only be able to rattle off their retained book knowledge, but they will also be able to think for themselves in light of Scripture. They will be able to apply Scriptural principles to daily life, as well as have access through the Holy Spirit to all they have ever studied in their scriptural instruction. John 14:26 speaks of how Jesus will send the Holy Spirit to not only teach us through God’s written Word, but also remind us of all we have learned. With that kind of understanding and access to the supernatural recollection of knowledge, what better education should be sought?
Do we want to raise children who blindly follow those who claim to have the answers to life’s problems, or do we want them to have an overflowing heavenly knowledge and discernment? Do we want them to be wise in the eyes of the world or do we want them to have the Wisdom of Solomon and to be considered well educated and wise in the eyes of God? Which is more valuable in the light of eternity? How will you instruct your children in the knowledge and understanding of God in light of these verses?
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.” Psalm 111:10
Hard Lessons
I am learning to appreciate the lessons God teaches me as I grow up...yes I am still growing up. I am the person that would resist admitting this, especially in those words. I simply have a desire to arrive...when do I arrive?
These gifts God has given to me reflect to me God's answer to that question. NEVER. As if through them God is quietly whispering to me....
The whisper of a coaxing, a calling to draw near, breath deep, seek me...I believe in you...hold tight...
He brings me to my knees to reveal to me my broken heart, my need for Him, that hope is never lost.
The lesson of this moment snuck in...settled softly...then in a quiet moment whispered to me...
"You need to LAUGH more, HOLD them longer, and bear down in LOVE to train them up."
My husband and I have been committed to training them up for some time now. That isn't just a phrase, it is a way of living. Intentional training of children...not just expecting but teaching, holding their hands, drawing hard lines, keeping them close, making expectations clear...
It is a constant, demanding, sometimes exhausting, but most rewarding job. We believe it is also the ONLY way to fulfill our calling as Parents in a biblical manner.
And, in the moments of training up children, boys and a young lady, to Love Jesus, Obey Authority, Love Others, Sacrifice Themselves, and show HONOR, VALORE and BRAVERY-- satan also tries to whisper..."It isn't fun", "Get Angry", "They aren't learning"...
His motives are clear...but they can be overcome. I must take a step back...gently but efficiently remind myself, through God's word and His lessons to express JOY because the calling is filled with JOY. Being a mother is a gift and a blessing. Always noted by God in His Word as a blessing He Gave to those He was rewarding. That moves me towards growing up...for them, for me, for Him.
God has given us much and in return much is required. Raising Warriors for Christ SHOULD be FUN, SERIOUS, JOYFUL, CHALLENGING, RIGOROUS, REWARDING, INTENTIONAL yet WONDERFUL all at the same time
This is only possible with God.
We once were listening to an audio series on parenting and the speaker said, "Often we find our dissapointments with our children are a result of our own personal selfishness."
They are CHILDREN and when they make a mess it offends our NEED for it to be clean.
---Children are just messy by nature and must be taught to be clean.
They are CHILDREN and when they spill it offends our NEED not to be bothered to clean it up
---Children are clumsy by nature and must mature over time.
They are CHILDREN and when they don't come when they are called it offends our PRETENSE of being a good parent.
---Children aren't given an innate ability to obey, they must be trained.
They are CHILDREN and when they display "wrong" behavior in public or perhaps hit another child, it embarrasses us so we lash out against them.
---Children can't grow from parents who LASH but rather flourish with parents who LOVINGLY train and discipline.
I myself need this priceless reminder...this is the growing up part. Self control, righteous anger, putting others first...Start responding like an adult, refrain and restrain your personal self centeredness, children can sniff it out, and approach being a mother with some grace and JOY.
The lesson to be learned as Mothers is clear although we convince ourselves it is often elusive...the application of it all... well, attempts should be made through prayer...
Sharpening the Arrows
By God's grace their hearts are filled, their minds growing in capacity and their souls enriched through the learning taking place...
in a small room, in our average house, equipped with the Sword and the hearts of those who have treaded before me and put their lessons to paper creating a place at which I can somehow, reach and instruct...
we are only 3 rugged weeks into daily picking up our crosses, putting on patience and love with discipline closely knit to my side, and putting pens to paper and ears that hear onto our heads so that we might school at home...
Not just the sharpening of children but me...my ears that hear them, a heart that feels them, and eyes that see their needs (they are not always academic needs during academic times)...
The refining and the sharpening of these arrows sharpens me as well...
The soul of a mother, often broken and lost but forever coming back to the Savior and the man he gave me to pull me through...
Oh, how I need him, the one God sent to me. His encouragement, his embrace, his love, his understanding and the victory he sees...my partner in this journey, the travels of the Christian life...
when my knees are lowly bent asking for resolve as we train up, school up, and bring up these blessings...
In His Holy Word, they are always God's blessing, a reward to His people, a sign of great wealth in the Lord...
I shall not take it lightly...Lord remind me daily...
The arrows that start out dull with only a hint of purpose must be daily sharpened that they might fight the war waged between the spirit and the world...
They cannot sharpen themselves in order that they be at the ready...they must intentionally be made equipped, showing the marks of the sharpening, glistening in the sun light as a warning of their ever ready blade...
Thine arrows sharpened are,Men under Thee to bring,To pierce the heart of enemiesWho fight against the King.
Today, yesterday, tomorrow...they are just the beginning of this adventure of schooling at home...
I am confident it will be difficult, I will be tired, at times wanting to quit, but the reward of the sharpening keeps me forging on...
to continue sharpening the arrows even when the battles victory seems distant...
for them....
for me....
for Him...
For God is the craftsman placing the arrows the hands of those He's called, to form them, sharpen them, give them the PURPOSE He has called them to. He equips the guilder with the tools they will need to sharpen each arrow for it's unique purpose. God then takes up His bow, the war is being waged even among those things unseen. He loosely grips the sharpened arrow and employs it purpose in His calling, in His kingdom. As the arrow dulls he again and again calls upon the guilder to refine and continue the sharpening process. These actions are almost happening simultaneously as the craftsman takes up His bow and the guilder sharpens the arrows. Without God as the Archer the battle will not be won. Without the guilder to sharpen the arrows the battle can never begin.
My son, observe the commandment of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother; bind them continually on your heart; tie them around your neck. When you walk about, they will guide you; when you sleep, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk to you. For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light. Proverbs 6
Be Still
Projects from At The Well:
To be still.
Are you like me? Move, move, move. Go, go, go. My feet rarely stop moving from the moment I get out of bed until I lay my head on my pillow. This is exhausting! Also, I think that I do this sometimes because I feel that I have to take care of things, I have to get things done. If I don’t, then who will? What will happen?
During especially busy or stressful times in my life, I am continually reminding myself of my need to be still before the Lord. Psalm 46 is titled God Is Our Fortress. It starts by saying, “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”
The Psalm continues and includes this little line, tucked in near the end, “Be still, and know that I am God.”
Most recently when I was reading this I thought about how when I am moving, moving, moving and getting things, I seemingly accomplish the tasks set before me in my own effort. However, sometimes when we are still we allow God to work and we get to see first hand His wonderful works and know that He is God.
Is there a situation in your life that you have been trying and trying to resolve with no progress? Could it possibly be an opportunity to be still and witness God do amazing things?
Be still with me this week.
Perfection
It's quiet now and my thoughts are racing. It's been so many days, even months since I last posted here, in my quiet, personal space. It is not for lack of need or desire but seasons.
Seasons breathe the flow of our lives and each season brings new life, new calm, and new storms.
Swiftly moving memories flash by as I lead my sheep through the day; dressing, eating, playing, learning, growing, challenging, kneeling, whispering, shouting, struggling, loving, embracing...
The movements never end but the days are always numbered. Each moment serves as an opportunity to create a memory, to instill in them qualities of love, laughter, joy, thankfulness and Him...the Creator of it all. Each moment is teaching them something, guiding them towards something, sinking deep a characteristic in them. Each is an opportunity...what I do with it is up to me.
What I value inside the moment is clear to them. Do I value me, my habits, my desires, my demands? Or
Do I value them, their growth, their hearts, their relationship with me, their imperfections?
Why can't I remember to whisper more, snuggle more, kneel more, embrace more, laugh more, forgive loudly, and see even the imperfections of life as JOY?
All of life cannot be smiles and falsely perfect, but life must also be imperfectly perfect. These are words that I must write on my walls.
I've long known that my heart lives for perfectionism. Since I was young I can remember redoing and redoing things until they were "right".
I often put this trait on job applications as a strength. I thought the Lord had blessed me with a desire and the ability to do things with perfection.
Now, as a mother I see, this trait has a hold of me. It keeps from truly being free. It burdens my children, my husband...
Oh Lord, you gave me, blessed me, overwhelmed my life with Annointed BOYS...and 1 Sweet, AMAZING girl...life is Messy.
There are qualities of perfectionism which I find useful and positive. Orderliness, organization, execution of tasks, successfully doing "things". But, where is the grace? The Mercy?
From Ann Voskamp at aholyexperience.com (she happens to be my favorite and speaks words my heart sings):
read it again:
My hearts cries out to the Lord that these words would sink deep in me....
Flood my mind and my heart with reminders....
Sit long with the spills, the wet pants on a baby girl child, speak softly with the failure to sit still for schooling, and the constant distractions, draw near and find JOY in the imperfections of life.
I see how much they soak in my heart. Those babes my belly swelled with, the life God knit together inside my womb...they become ME.
Why God?
How can I possibly shed my sinful heart enough, breath the air of YHWH and sink His Joy into their lives?
I have my own struggles and hang ups, my own lacking patience, my nagging perfectionism...How Lord, how will I teach them to
Bad Mom and Repentance
From At the Well:
“I am such a bad mom!”
As it has happened before–more times than I care to mention–I retreat from the chaos, hollering, and fighting into my bedroom, to give myself a time out.
“Father, I need your help. I’m not doing a very good job at this!” I am irritated and impatient. Quick to anger, abounding in selfishness, and not at all clothed with compassion or gentle understanding. I desperately want to be a good mom. Really, I do! I only have one problem. Sin.
I remember reading a book, before my husband and I had any children of our own, that claimed to be about how to raise kids to love Jesus. In the opening chapter of the book, the author made it clear that I had better deal with all of my problem areas, shortcomings, and sins before I ever considered having kids. If I didn’t, there was no way my children would follow God. I, the inveterate perfectionist that I am, panicked. If that was the case, there was no way that I could ever be a mom.
God, in His providence, helped me to put that book down. I never did finish reading it. I think many Christian moms cripple ourselves with perfectionism. We weigh ourselves down with a heavy burden, as though our children were saved by our works of righteousness.
How foolish we are to think this way! Lord, help us! The truth of the matter is that I am a bad mom. You are a bad mom. We’re all bad moms. The only solution to our problem is the Gospel.
“It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.” 1 Timothy 1:15 (NASB)
And so we repent and believe. And repent. And believe. And repent and believe.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 (ESV)
I confess my sins before Him. My totally desperate state, completely incapable of being a good mom on my own.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (ESV)
“I thank you, Father, that I don’t need to mother these children you have given me by my own strength. Help me to mother them by your grace.”
“Children, I’m really sorry for losing my temper just a few minutes ago. It was wrong of me to yell at you all like that. Will you forgive me?”
My little ones look up with me, with a sweet trust in their wide, precious eyes that I know I don’t deserve.
“Yes, Mom, we forgive you.”
They throw their arms around me, like the prodigal mom come home, and I choke back the tears. No, my children do not have a perfect mom. What they have is a redeemed mom. A mom who needs the Savior just as much as they do.
Nourished Roots
The warriors are laying low, flashes of light flickering across the front room, sleeping bags laid out upon the floor and eyes heavy with a hard days work. Swimming can take a warrior and bring him to a vulnerable pause...boys and their endless energy finds its weakness in a day of swimming and sun.
The quiet begins to settle in here and I have a moment to meditate and think of all the ways the Father has blessed my life, even when the blessings sometimes feel heavy like burdens they are gifts and blessings none-the-less.
The roots of the children slowly spreading into the soil we live on here, increasing their strength and bringing them steadfast memories which draw up character.
The arrows in the quiver are a part of God's plan to hold firm the front line against the enemy. They are to be grown into men who can withstand the enemy and fight for the honor of their Lord, their Savior. The arrows have been placed into my quiver, by God, as gifts, always as gifts nothing less, and their path is mine to sow.
Prayers cover them from my heart, exhaustive work and dedicated love to raise them up into men. I cry out to my God for help, and not often enough, as the days mark endless opportunities to fine tune their character and call them unto Him. Their flesh fights me so...
I hear them giggling, I see their sweet little toes pressed firmly against the wall unit as they watch the flickering images across the screen. Their unique God given personalities fill our home and engrave memories upon the walls. They are precious. Full of hugs, kisses, sweet embraces, in need of correction and discipline in order to find the straight path, and me often asking for forgiveness as we tread the path together...
God has placed us here together...
Father lift them towards you, hold them close, right my wrongs and teach them your ways. Wrestle the flesh that it may subside and your Glory be found. Increase their wisdom. Sow seeds of faith and carry them when they are weak. I give them to you just as you gave them to me.
I pray the roots we plant grow deep, nourished by the King.
Homeschooling Mothers Arise
A wonderful article from At the Well speaking to the life of Homeschooling moms:
Homeschool mothers relate to the feelings that come from drudgery. The days are long and tedious. The success that comes of the toil sometimes goes unseen for months, maybe even years. Our lives seem downright plain and ordinary. Our work goes unnoticed. Our existence remains unobserved. Life can become commonplace. Where do we go from here? How can we keep going from day to day?
Oswald Chambers said, “Drudgery is one of the finest touchstones of character.” A touchstone is defined as “a hard black stone, such as jasper, formerly used to test the quality of gold or silver by comparing the streak left on the stone by one of these metals with that of a standard alloy.” A touchstone is a gauge, which is used to test the quality of a precious metal in comparison to a commonplace metal. During our times of drudgery, do we want to show our character as being that of pure gold or as a mixture of commonplace metals? I would much rather present myself to Jesus as gold–experiencing the ordinary–rather than being ordinary.
The truth is, our feelings of inadequacy overpower us when we fail to see God’s handiwork in the smallest details of our everyday lives. We wait for God to show us the extraordinary thing for which we have been laboring. We look for Him to guide us to our pinnacle of success so that we can give Him the glory. We should be giving Him the glory throughout the mundane tasks that are before us each day. It is when we are in the valley, between the pinnacles of success, we see where we have been and how far He has led us.
Jesus stepped down from His heavenly domain and meekly washed His disciple’s feet. In turn, let us walk the path of humility that He has placed before us. We are not so admirable that we deserve the praiseworthy work rather than what Jesus has given us to accomplish. His plan is perfect and we must accept the plan, no matter how ordinary that plan may seem. Seeing the exceptional within the ordinary makes the mundane extraordinary.
Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the Glory of the Lord rises upon you. – Isaiah 60:1
The glory of God is upon you on the mountain tops of success and in the valleys of the commonplace. Take your place, accept your calling, place your feet firmly on the path, look toward the goal, and arise and shine!
Love for the Long Haul- One Thousand Gifts
I love my husband...
He stands tall for Christ...
Works hard for his family...
Battles the inevitable struggle between work and home with patience and a quiet spirit...
He loves greatly...
Serves honestly...
Often puts himself last...
Loves comes easy...whispers sweetly in the quiet moments we have together...
I trust him...give our life to him...
The long pause comes in the question as to whether or not he FEELS my love...
Do I show my love..
Consider him in the things I do...
Serve him the way I serve the children...
What do the quiet moments look like?
Respect is a word that is difficult to achieve...it seems for me. It comes easy when times are easy and is much harder when the trust must be deeper...the falling could be harder...the risk with the children graver...
Emotionally I feel love for him, supreme respect for the life he gives to us and the giving he does for us...showing him must take a higher priority.
I found a few wonderful things to consider from Focus on the Family:
- becoming better listeners;
- taking responsibility for our actions and feelings;
- avoiding blame;
- being more affectionate and considerate;
- becoming partners in parenting;
- respecting each other's differences;
- supporting each other in extended family conflicts;
- praying individually and as a couple;
- journaling feelings individually;
- placing a priority on time together;
- submitting to God as their authority;
- being proactive in keeping the Love Alive.
- Be Attentive
- Be Available
- Be Aware
- Be Appreciative
In an effort to express my thankfulness and the gifts that embody my husband that I might feel compelled to Show Him my LOVE and in turn sacrificially love Him.
Gifts--A Husband Who...
276. Washes Dishes
277. Night time bed routine with the kids
278. Daddy's night time stories
279. Playing Rough House even after a LONG day
280. Gives sweet, honest Compliments
281. Working hard and playing with us harder
282. Tender hugs (even if briefly)
283. Watches a show late into the night
284. Prepares Candled baths
285. Cleans up Dinner
286. has Flexibility
287. has Passion
288. Serves the King
289. Raises Arrows
290. Brews fresh tea
291. Loves his friends
292. Serves others
293. has Vision
294. Provides
295. is Trustworthy
296. is Loving
297. is Kind and Generous
298. is Sensitive yet Strong
299. Loves adventure
300. Loves New
The reality is the list could continue for some time. God has blessed me with an amazing partner even though I never deserved it. I am thankful for His love for me and our children is guiding me to the right spouse. I only hope to be a great partner, girlfriend, and love for him.
Inspiring Moments
Inspiring Moments...They come often, and quietly.
I turn and God gives inspiration in the moments that take my breath.
My children and the hope that glistens on the edges of their growing bodies as I see glimpses of goodness coming from my mothering and our parenting.
The sweet turns to sweat when I hear them love, laugh, obey, and live contently.
Inspiration, often like breathing, comes and goes with only whispers and when it comes God wisks you forward, keeps you going. He simply moves you when you feel unable to move.
It is the carrying He does when I need to train them, the movement towards the vacuum for the third time that day, the still, quiet moments you sit to read to them and they listen...
Inspiration appears with many feelings and wearing many faces and comes in various times and seasons.
Ann's words, a source of inspiration He often uses in my life as I hear her speak the words my heart sings...
As she, Ann, talks of her youngest daughter I think upon my oldest son, soon turning six and the world of infancy being stolen from him like a thief and manhood rising up inside my boy-child.
Although mine are not "near grown" I feel time wrestling me for them...his grip tight upon their bodies as they stretch and grow...
I hear true her words:
Be inspired....
Slow the pace....
Grow slowly and steadily...
Soak it in and sink it deep...
Sacred Groves
My husband, Justin asked me to share this video on our blog. He said it really captures his heart about his journey to knowing Jesus Christ.
One Thousand Gifts-Treasured Friends
I'm so thankful for my treasured friends. Those friends whose trust has been built, times have been traveled and overcome, joys shared, tears shed, laughter belted and babies born...
Mothers whose path has been Called by God... traveled to honor Him. Wives, mothers, sisters...
I am so thankful for those friendships. Those role models in my life. The ones who encourage me, inspire me, show me a new way, and keep me drawn to Christ.
261. Sisterhood
262. Trusting Vulnerability
263. Being Genuine
264. Laughter over silly things
265. Memories
266. Motherhood
267. Inspiring Moments
268. Sharing Trials
269. Loving words
270. Faithfulness
271. Daughterhood of the King
272. Learning to be Wives
273. Sharing Joys of Marriage (and challenges)
274. Learning Lessons together
275. Traveling Life Together
Marriage Free Printable
Enjoy this free printable subway art on Marriage. I think it's rather cute and fun. Just one color this time.
Treasures in Heaven
From At The Well:
There are dirty little plastic dishes in my sink.
There are piles of half-folded laundry in my living room, and crumbs in my carpet, and broken crayons under my table.
There are stuffed animals, and mismatched socks, and little girl barrettes, and board books under my bed.
Some people’s baker’s racks are neatly adorned with hand-painted tea cups. Mine is piled high with children’s pencil drawings and water color creations on construction paper.
My office is filled with books I’ve been meaning to read and books I’ve been meaning to sell and papers I need to file and papers I need to throw away.
It’s after bedtime, but my washing machine is still busily agitating, in hopes that I might have clean diapers in the morning.
At least the wooden train set made it into it’s box–no one likes that kind of middle-of-the-night surprise on the bottom of their bare foot.
Yes. My house is filled with stuff. Messes. Clutter. Dare I say, chaos. Some days, I get the best of it. Most days, it gets the best of me.
I’ve been thinking a lot about stuff lately…wondering just how easy it would be for us to condense all our earthly possessions into a small U-Haul trailer if the LORD told us to go somewhere else…and I’ve realized what a powerful grip stuff still has on me.
I think about how much time I spend cleaning stuff, rearranging stuff, tripping over stuff, looking for lost stuff, and buying more stuff. How much time my husband spends working to pay for stuff.
And yet, if the world were really to come to an end, and Jesus were to return tonight, there are really only five things around here that matter much…
…five” things” that I can take with me…
…my husband, and my four precious children.
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Matthew 6:19-21
Christ may not return tonight, but He is coming.
“But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed.”
2 Peter 3:10
There is a far-worse middle-of-the-night surprise than stepping on wooden train pieces…
Am I living my life, each day, as though it were the very last day I had to teach my children to know, love, serve, and follow Him?
Am I?
Are you?
Free Printable Subway Art
Inspired by Author and President of Lamplighter Productions, Mark Hamby, a great quote to remember about raising our kids. I plan to post this on the wall in an 8x10 frame just outside our school room as you pass into the living room/kitchen. It is a great reminder of what Christ does for us as we ought to also model for our children.
**revised note...this is not meant to leave out harming oneself or others, it just didn't look or sounds as nice on the subway art! :)
Quiet Thoughts
Rising again from a busy week, which seems to set the soul under something heavy, I'm grasping for some sanctuary, sanity, rest for the soul. The rush of going and coming from days past has put my heart at a heavy pace in which I fear I might not recover.
Slowly the rising comes...the sleep in my eyes falls away peeling a sort of "new" breath into my lungs...
The day is filled with sunshine, laughter, errands (again with the going and coming), and the feeding of the littles...
Their wet dripping bodies, sleek in the sun, and slender small radiate a joy as their daddy sweat to build the pool they've been asking for.
He build dreams, labors love, hours long, in the sun with not much accolade except that of thrilled and squealing children.
God is good...
Peace like a river flows...
His Grace and Mercies are new each day...
Small are His gifts to us as we watch them grow...
These words sum up this lazy, yet busy, Saturday afternoon:
Contentment
Project on Contentment from At the Well:
to practice contentment. This is a HUGE sin in my life that God has been giving me growth in, by His grace! It is so easy to get into a complaining attitude and take our blessings for granted. It is so easy to go through difficult times and doubt God’s goodness. During these times, it is important to have habits that cultivate a content and grateful attitude.
I’ve read two books recently that have been encouraging me along this journey to practice contentment.
One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp was the first one. Wow, God used her writing in this book to show me the importance of giving thanks in all things, looking for His gifts.
Ann says, “Our fall was, has always been, and always will be that we aren’t satisfied in God and what He gives.” God showers blessings on us, but yet we aren’t satisfied. We always want more. However, this kind of life can lead to nothing but deeper feelings of lacking and discontent.
Ann’s book tells us about how we can fight against discontent and live fully for God by learning the skill of gratitude, more specifically by counting God’s gifts (We had this challenge already). Gratitude helps us become more content, because we see how blessed we are, and it also helps us to build our trust in God!
The second book that I’ve read recently is The Greener Grass Conspiracy by Stephen Altrogge. The tagline is finding contentment on your side of the fence.
This was the perfect book to read as I continue to learn more about and seek to live my life with contentment. Stephen says, “Biblical contentment is not rooted in circumstances but in the infinitely stronger foundation of God himself.” This is the key!
We cannot live content in and of ourselves. We must seek God. We must see Him blessing us. We must realize that His will is good for us and trust Him.
Sounds of Summer Rising-One Thousand Gifts
The cold is warming, melting the bite of the early mornings and the heavy blankets covering the beds...Summer is fast approaching...
It brings a new life...a transition of heart...new sounds in the yard...splashing waters upon the ground from an overflowing pool...
As quickly as the summer comes, the children grow...there is hope in the changing of seasons, joy in the growth of babies...grace in the steady of God through it all...
Gifts
246. Warming Sun
247. Filling Pools
248. Crystal Clear Waters
249. Sun Kissed Baby Bodies
250. Squeals of laughter from the water
251. Warm Summer Mornings on the Patio
252. Riding bikes at night
253. Boys playing in the trees
254. Grass Stained Socks
255. Shedding the jeans
256. Tank Tops and Pontytails
257. Blankets in the grass
258. Brothers in warm beds
259. Sister in skirts
260. The kissing of God's creation
Matters of the Heart
Oh my have the last few days or even weeks maybe even months been a challenge.We are in a "crashing period" with the twins. I'll explain.
I was told by my mother long ago that children often ebb and flow in six month spurts between falling in line, being compliant and displaying obedience with joy. Then six months of pushing the limits, walking the fine line and teetering on the edge.
At the time she shared this with me I giggled. My first son was small, not old enough yet to exhibit such extremes. I was naive to the wonderful bliss and sweaty work of training and growing up boys into men (and 1 sweet girl).
Now, almost 6 years later, this ebb and flow is clear to me. They are like crashing waves and shifting tides.
Their ability to live at full blast each day brings challenges and joy. During the "crashing waves" period of time I find myself cycling through reminders, instructions, warnings, discipline, and a breath of air. I say, "when you are done with something put it back", "we don't leave Popsicle sticks on the carpet, you know where the trash is", "don't each boogers find a Kleenex", "please flush", "no need to scream in the house, you can play outside", "remember the baby is sleeping, don't slam the toilet lid down", "we are taking a nap today, just like yesterday", "please don't whine it doesn't change anything", "no we can't wear the same clothes for four days", "sorry your socks feel funny", "I don't know where your shoes are I didn't wear them last", "please get off the floor, just talk to me", "don't scream, don't scream, don't scream please!!!". I really could go on and on.
They seem to fight with each other more, struggle sharing, speaking kindly, finding compromise, and hearing any answer except what they want to hear. Their hearts are raw, their flesh loud, and in turn our lives seem crazy.
It is during this "crashing period" I must dive deep and keep my eye upon the training of their hearts. Reflecting grace, forgiveness, patience, love, all while setting a firm line and acting quickly to disrespect so as to not leave even a glimpse of opportunity for the devil set a foothold to their hearts.
I'm flawed in this process. I yell sometimes. I cry sometimes. Frustration runs deep and in the quiet of the evening exhaustion comes quick. Emotionally and physically I am drained. Spiritually it is a battleground. I must remember to tap into the All Powerful love of Jesus. I must remain steadfast in His will and love, it is what matters. I attempt to show my children His grace in my life. Ask for forgiveness of them in my shortcomings. Remember to put off self and put on love even when I am weak. I want to do better. I pray to grow with each cycle. It always comes on so quickly and leaves just as quickly before I can barely get my footing at times.
Then something happens and the tide shifts and my boys, although still loud, crazy and living at full throttle, are sweeter, softer, more compliant, less whiny, "yes mom", "okay mom", "mom, I want to be a soldier for God", "are you proud of me mom?", "I shared mom, see?". Their hearts are quieter and they are in a state of "new" composure.
It is in this "quiet cycle" I see glimpses of the hard work paying off. Their hearts are soaking up the lessons, putting on Jesus, and their spirits thirst for Him, being made in His nature, even when the "crashing cycle" seems so much louder. God is calling them. He is molding them. Even through my flawed and failed delivery at times. He is bigger than me.
Thank God!!!
I remember it is their heart that matters most. Not following all the rules, although that is nice and in most cases safer. The rules and expectations are in place for my own sanity as much as for their training. But, we cannot miss the heart. We must focus on the lessons of the heart...will they thirst for Christ? Do I even give God a chance to teach and call to them through my flawed life by talking about Him, walking with Him, and exhibiting Grace b/c of Him?
I am the lighthouse to this crazy, wild, crashing, sometimes calm, ocean. Even as the tides change the need for the lighthouse remains. It is not just a wild ocean that has need of a lighthouse but the ocean no matter its state. There are rocks ahead. There is danger. God has placed these children into my care, as the lighthouse, to bring them Home. He is the light.
What an awesome picture.
Lord, help me to be the mother you have called me to be to these precious children. That during both the crashing and quiet cycles I can reflect your light to their lives. That grace, forgiveness, love, and faithfulness would abide in our home. That the lighthouse you have created me to be would bring them safety and a place to call home. Help our home to be a compass that guides them to you.
Help me to be a good mother to boys. Help me to train up a lady in Brynn. Father....help.
Amen.
Excerpt from M.O.B. Society:
TYPO
My last post was a free printable for your home or homeschool room. I had a major typo on the printable so I've revised and reloaded the download. Please enjoy and be encouraged.
