Exasperating our Children

I found this GREAT List at Sprittibee...

You Exasperate Your Children When You...


1. Never admit you are wrong.

Instead, tell your children you have made a mistake and ask their forgiveness and God's if you sin in your actions or attitudes.

2. Model hypocrisy (say one thing, do another)

3. Fail to keep promises.

Be cautious with your words. You may not think you are making a promise, but your children may interpret your words or actions as promises.

4. Demand too much of them.

Don't expect them to act like adults. Be reasonable in your expectations of their actions, attitudes and how much responsibility you expect of them. Try timing your workflow to see if what you are asking is even possible (if you tend towards overloading the schedule).

5. Over protect them.

Don't bail them out of problems - let them learn the hard way now. The cost will be less now than later in life when you aren't there to pick them up.

6. Batter them with words.

Use your words sparingly! Be consistent and let your yes be yes, your no be no, and your words be solid in action.

7. Abuse them verbally.

Never call names, add explanation marks to their names or predict failure. Find ways to compliment and praise them instead. Tell them all the things they do well - not a list of their shortcomings.

8. Make discipline too severe.

9. Show favoritism.

Don't compare children in their achievements, abilities or grades. They are each unique gifts from God.

10. Embarrass them.

Be careful and cautious with how you speak about them to others - especially when they are present.

11. Give no time warnings.

Don't come in a room and tell them to stop immediately unless they are doing something that will harm them or others. Give them a few minutes to adjust to your expectations. Tell them 'bed in five minutes' or 'we are leaving in ten minutes, so please finish and clean up' - then follow through!

12. Try to be their buddy.

You are the parent. Time for friendships is later in life when they are parents themselves.

13. Withhold firm discipline and proper training.

If you tell them dinner is ready and they don't come, no dinner. Don't debate. You are the parent. Train them in the way they should go and always remain calm and prayerful in your decisions. Then stick to it!

14. Discipline inconsistently/use different punishments for the same offense.

Each child should receive the same punishment for the same crime. Being tired is no excuse for inconsistent punishments. Keep a journal to ensure consistency.

15. Are weak with your authority.

Don't let the children ask you repeatedly to have or do something. Don't allow them to even TRY to wear you down. If you make a decision, stick to it.

16. Consistently believe evil of them.

When you are suspicious of them, making accusations of wrongdoing, you are deflating their trust in your unconditional love and acceptance of them. Be happy with them and know that you are blessed to be their parent. Your trust and acceptance can encourage them to make right choices.

17. Do not listen to them.

Let them explain their frustrations with you and be honest with you about how they feel - even if it upsets you. They should be polite and respectful, but they should always be allowed to come to you with their feelings.

18. Continually criticize them.

"A child can only take so much gloom." - Little House on the Prairie

19. Communicate to them that they are unwanted.

If you tell them it would be easier to go to work than take care of kids at home and they will think you would rather be there. Don't tell them what you are giving up to raise them or they will think you would rather not be their parent. When you are frustrated, pray - do not speak hurtful things you will regret.

20. Threaten them with rejection.

If they are not doing what they should, discipline them. If they refuse to obey, let them sit outside on a bench in your back yard because you will not allow willful disobedience in your home. Don't threaten them with empty threats. Only say what you really mean after you have time alone to pray about the issue. Ask for help if the disobedience spirals out of control. Maybe an objective mentor can give you ideas you haven't thought of to curb the problem.

21. Never communicate your approval of them.

If you only take time out of your day to correct them and not ever to encourage them, you are teaching them to seek your attention through negative actions. You are also making them not like themselves - which will make them seek approval in others by doing things to get attention from their peers.

22. Neglect them.

Don't allow the phone or your own private duties to interrupt your time together. Make time to build a relationship with them. Take time to listen and communicate with them. Get to know them as a person. Keep a prayer journal for them and make notes about time you have spent talking with them. Remember what it was like to court your spouse? Love them with your whole heart. The house cleaning can wait.

23. Overindulge them.

Don't allow them to be part of your decision making when you are making parental decisions and don't spoil them with material things. Don't allow too much screen time or 'twaddle' or they will develop a taste for 'the easy life' and balk at hard work and deep thinking. They will expect things to be given to them and not want to put out effort to achieve them.
24. Reward insolence, sass, pouting, anger, or disrespect.

A child should never raise his voice at his parents unless he is calling you from afar. Do not allow a disrespectful tone to be rewarded by acknowledgment. Cease the conversation and discipline. Bad attitudes are a symptom of a clouded heart. The bible talks about the heart's wickedness. A great book on discipline and heart issues is "Shepherding a Child's Heart" by Ted Tripp.

25. Cease a time of chastisement before it has produced humility.

Don't stop in your punishment of bad behavior until you see the fruit of a changed heart. If the actions AND attitudes change, you have succeeded in your objective as their disciple. If there is only an action change, and yet their countenance is still angry, you have only taught them that lip service is all you are asking of them. Their heart is the root of the disobedience. Your job is not to weed out bad behavior, but to till the soil of the heart until GOOD can grow there.
 
I need to print this and put it on my fridge! I hope you do the same.

Ramblings of my Mind-QUIVERFULL

When Justin and I got married we said we wanted 7 children.  We agreed on that, crazy I know.  We thought it sounded awesome.  Especially not having any children to speak of yet.  Once we had Cole we thought maybe 7 was too many but certainly, at least, 3.  We had talked about God's view of childbearing and the idea that trusting Him with all things includes how many children we have and when.  We didn't want to trust God with the rest of our lives and not with our children. 

You know the story, we then had the twins, which were an amazing blessing.  We were so surprised to have twin boys.  We felt so special and chosen by God to be called with twins.  They were harder work.  There is definately no rest for the weary when raising two little bundles of joy. 

Once the twins had reached almost a year we were deciding what to do, continue or stop.  I felt a tugging to have another but I didn't want to push my husband.  He was leaning towards stopping.  I was patient.  I didn't argue about it, that I can remember, I simply stated my position.  It didn't take long and Justin seemed softened with the idea.  He gave me a window to get pregnant stating that if it was God's will it would happen.  Mother's day 2008 I was prego!!!  Our first Daughter.  God's will indeed.

Here we are now, with 4 beautiful, healthy, wonderful children.  Brynn is approaching a year and the decision is to be made yet again.  I've been seeing, reading, and noticing large families everywhere.  I'm inspired by their families, their devotion to Christ, their faith.  I don't feel frantic about it but I do wonder what will we do.  We've talked about both ways and still no firm decision is made.

I've been doing some reading tonight and I found the Blog, "Raising Arrows".  On her blog she talks about the term QUIVERFULL.  I hadn't heard that term before.  "The term is used to describe any family who leaves their childbearing completely in the Lord's hands. This means no birth control, no sterilization, and no Natural Family Planning; no prevention of any kind."  I instantly feel a tugging in my heart.  I want to trust God's headship in my life, even in fertility.  But, surprisingly, I'm nervous.  I don't get nervous about much.  With a little heart prompting I realize I'm nervous about what others will think.

I don't want to be, but I am.  I don't want to be seen as careless, irresponsible, lacking in wisdom, impatient, overworked, etc.  The list is long.  I want to do what God has called me to do with ease and clear direction.  Then add in that my husband has to be on board.  God has to call him to this same place.

There are some awesome resources out there to read and be challenged by concerning Quiverfull. 

I suppose this decision and conviction still has some working out to be done by us, but until then, I desire to be in prayer about it, seeking God's will in it, and peacfully placing it in His hands.


Nate and Paula Wilson

http://home.att.net/~nathan.wilson/brthcntl.htm

MOMYS

http://www.momys.com/

QuiverFull
http://www.quiverfull.com/

I love this quote from Raising Arrows: The world says children are a burden; something that sucks us dry of precious time and energy. The world tells us we must think of ourselves first and foremost and if we don't, we are likely to lose ourselves in the murky waters of parenthood. The world says motherhood is a pasttime, a hobby, something to be done when we aren't so busy. The world is wrong!

Psalm 127:3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb



is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the


youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be


ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

60/60 Challenge-Update

Okay so in a previous post I talked a little about the 60/60 challenge.  I put together my cards, which I just happened to blend the 60/60 and the 7x7 challenge to help me stay on track with both.  I put my 7x7 verses on my cards, grabbed a lanyard and loaded in 2-3 cards each day, 7 won't fit!   I just rotate through them during the week.  My watch automatically beeps each hour so it reminds me to pray them.  I often pray them silently while I read them or if I'm with my children I read them aloud.  I don't make a scene about it, I just do it quietly.  I always ask them if I can pray over them, they always say yes! That is awesome.

I will say doing it for 60 days has been challenging.  I feel like I need to start over b/c I've missed so many days in the last month or so.  I know the point isn't perfection so I'm not stressed about it, but I do think I will continue to do it until I can do all 60 days in a row.  Hopefully it will be habit then.

I think my next major challenge it putting more scripture to memory b/c I would like to get to a point where I don't have to have the cards at all anymore, just the beep and a prayer.  That is my goal!  Then once I have my scriptures memorized and I've made a habit of praying over my children and my husband I might move outward to those around me.

I hope you are finding the challenge encouraging as I am and being in a constant state of communication with the Lord to be refreshing. 

Discretion

I was moved by the post on At the Well the other day in which the writer talked about discretion. She states, "Discretion is something we all like to think we practice, yet we know there are times when we speak badly of our husbands or our children or our mother-in-law and discretion gives way to venting which gives way to a drippy faucet of complaints.Sometimes we take the “high road” and do our complaining without mentioning names. We stand on our proverbial soapbox and rant and rave about certain behaviors that bother us while envisioning one particular person, who now anonymously stands condemned through our words.We may not be physically “wandering about from house to house” in this age of technology, but we most certainly have the opportunity to mentally wander in and out of websites saying whatever we please along the way." 

I love the part about Drippy Faucets of complaining.  I totally do this.  I condemn others with my words while thinking I'm remaining above board by not mentioning names.  Why do I do this?

God is so clear about how we use our mouths and our words.  There are reminders galore about having a tame tongue and restraining our lips.  It is so hard to keep our words under control.

I often wonder what type of example I'm being for my children?  They certainly don't need any assistance with talking too much!  It almost comes naturally for them.  In our human nature our words seem to flow without much regard for the path of distruction it leaves behind.  We must reform our lives, our words, and develop discretion. 

Please Lord help me to have a tongue with honors and uplifts You. 

One Thousand Gifts

I have so much to be thankful for as I sit and consider what I will be praising God for tonight.  I sometime don't know where to start.  There are moments that I find that I'm so selfish, envious, covetous, and have a feeling of entitlement.  I instantly pray and ask that my heart be softened to see God's grace in my life, His gifts, blessings, annointings, and faithfulness.  I've been meditating upon the grace and mercy of God over the past few weeks.  Isn't it the very foundation of all He has done for us?  Grace in that He gives us those things which we do not deserve, Mercy for not giving us the things we do deserve, such as death.  I and sad for those who do not know this Jesus.  My heart breaks for the times that I do not appreciate knowing this Jesus and taking it for granted. 

When I considering the blessings God has placed into my life I sometimes find myself thinking, "I can't write that one, that is small and silly."  I strive to think of BIG things God does for me.  In that quest I lose sight of the small but significant gifts He has given to me.

So, tonight I dedicated my gifts to the Small yet Significant gifts God has place into my life and my families life that often go unnoticed and unmentioned.

God's Abundant Gifts
17.  A comfortable bed to sleep in
18. The ability to shower each day
19. A table to eat at with my family
20. More than one pair of jeans to clothe myself with
21. Electricity and running water
22. Green grass for my children to enjoy
23. An office to work in
24. The ability to read and write
25. Beds for my children to sleep in
26. A car to drive-no matter the year, make or model
27. A washing machine and dryer to clean my clothes
28. The ability to hear and make music
29. Water to drink
30. Shoes on my feet

I know they seem small and often "givens" in our privelaged American life.  There are few people I know personally who go without the blessings mentioned above.  But, the reality is that in parts of the world those blessings are unheard of.  How rich are our lives and I often don't even consider such simplicities as blessings.  Shame on me! 

Along with not appreciating the small things, I too fall victim to the lie that life must be busy, we must be going, doing, and rushing.  I often find myself filling our schedule.  I LIKE to be busy. Not TOO busy but busy.  I call it LIVING.  But, there is a fine line that the enemy likes to blur when it comes to staying busy, we tend to miss the beauty and the opportunity that lies in the quiet.  I've tried to spend more time at home with my children.  To take in the daily opportunity to watch them grow and live.  This has been challenging for me because I like to go out and DO things with them.  But, when we are out and doing I cannot take as much care to instruct them and guide their path.  Each moment offers opportunity to teach them something but being still and quiet gives more opportunity in a controlled environment.  It allows everyone to remain peaceful.  When we are TOO busy I PRAISE God less.  I have less time to stop and lift up thanks to Him.  I pray the Lord would help me find the right balance between being busy and doing it unto HIM, praising Him in all things, and being peaceful at home.  That I might find the blessings in all moments. I found a great quote on At the Well:

Each moment I have with these children.
Each moment I have to honor and submit to my husband.
Each moment I am given to love and serve another.
Each moment I pray or sing or praise.
Michelle a Contributing Author at At the Well

I pray God would continue to remind me of the vast richness of my life (in the busy times and the quite) and His abounding blessings. May He also remind you!




Word Filled Wednesday

Sorry to just be posting this...It was in my drafts unposted. I find it encouraging none the less! I hope you do too!




Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,


the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.

Blessed is the man

who fills his quiver with them!

He shall not be put to shame

when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.
—Psalm 127:3-5




Quotes for the Heart

It is painfully obvious that I have yet again missed several days of being able to write and as my opportunity has given itself has not fallen on a Monday or a Thursday leaning itself towards writing based upon one of my challenge I have decided to spend some time blog hopping and posting some quotes that I find particularily encouraging, inspiring and motivating! Enjoy.

"Oh that God would give every mother a vision of the glory and splendor of the work that is given to her when a babe is place in her bosom to be nursed and trained! Could she have but one glimpse in to the future of that life as it reaches on into eternity; could she look into it's soul to see its possibilities; could she be made to understand her own personal responsibility for the training of this child, for the development of its life, and for its destiny,--she would see that in all God's world there is no other work so noble and so worthy of her best powers, and she would commit to no others hands the sacred and holy trust given to her." -JR Miller
From: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home



"Wise is the woman who cherishes each season and cheerfully anticipates the next." anonymous

"A gentle and quiet spirit is not only imperishable; it is precious in the sight of God. It's also one of the hardest qualities to cultivate. Far from a sign of weakness, a gentle and quiet spirit is the sign of a woman who is strong in faith, mind and character." --Anna Sofia & Elizabeth Botkin From: A Wise Woman Builds Her Home


A quote from At the Well that I like:
"Cherish the season you stand in. It may be a season that you embrace with joy, or it may be a season much like winter, that while dark and cold, holds promises. We must cling to the words in Daniel, that in each and every season the Lord is faithful and His wisdom and knowledge wait for those who are seeking."


"Women, whose lives are harder, need jokes more than men and make them more often." Paul Johnson
 
Time and money on things that only temporarily fill our cups, then leave us completely empty... You'd think we'd learn a thing or two from the sisters who've walked this path before us... We've been trying since the beginning of time to find something to 'fill us up,' and since the dawn of time, only ONE thing really EVER has worked... from: All You Have to Give

"God specifically tells us that we are to think about whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admireable, excellent or praiseworthy. If our thoughts are constantly focusing on those things, we are living life through the lens of the Holy Spirit." found at 160 Acre Woods
 
Be Blessed as I have Been!

One Thousand Gifts

Life is living and moving thing and lately our lives have been moving and living at a faster pace than usual.  It has kept my writing at bay for 2 weeks, and although I know that is okay and God still hears my praise and my thanks, I can say that I felt something missing without writing.  I take less time to spend time in God's word, I fill my day with less reflection of his graces and mercies in my life.  I have less opportunity to express myself beyond the daily parenting phrases that are my "new" language in life.  I realized, I need this blog.  I'm not sure many read it, at this point, or that my thoughts go much beyond my own ability to look back and reflect on what I was experiencing in life.  But, I need it.  I've always been a journaler...and by that I mean I love to write and have often taken a pen to paper to record my thoughts, always to end up getting rid of it for fear that someone might actually read it.  Or years would pass and I would read it and realize how silly it all seemed.  Silly or not...I love to blog!

{Psalm 27:4
One thing have I asked of the Lord, that will I seek, inquire for, and [insistently] require: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord [in His presence] all the days of my life, to behold and gaze upon the beauty [the sweet attractiveness and the delightful loveliness] of the Lord and to meditate, consider, and inquire in His temple.}


We've been dealing with discipline again in our home.  The ever-changing beast it seems to be.  I consider myself a pretty firm parent with high expectations of my children, but nothing I don't think they can achieve.  We express a lot of love, spend lots of time with them, and cover them with smooches and hugs.  So the discipline part has it's place amidst a lot of love.  But, we have been struggling.  And by we, I suppose I really mean me.  I won't go into the details here, now isn't really the time.  But I will ask that you be praying for us as we seek God's will in how to handle his heart.  We want to implement the Heart Transformation aspect in all things, but as with many things, find it challenging to utilize the right discipline tool in the transformation.  I think we might be on to something now...pray we will consistently stick to it and that God would re-shape our child's heart towards obedience.

In my efforts to see more of what God wanted from me about the discipline I was blog hopping.  There are so many amazing, biblical, Titus 2 women who are raising many children that I feel I can look up to and gain wisdom from.  I was encouraged by what many of them had to say in regards to this issue.  But I was most encouraged when I found a mother of 9 children blogging about her own feelings of inadequecy in regards to motherhood.  You can find her little post here (http://www.titus2atthewell.com/2009/10/deep-and-complete-contentment.html).  It just goes to show that satan is good at telling all of us we aren't doing enough.  I am not saying we should not strive to do more, to know more of God, to know more His will, to see more clearly through His eyes, to intercede for our Children more, and to do so with humility.  But, we ought to praise God for His work in us rather than complain against Him and what He has done for us and in us. 

Interceding for our children---Well I will say that Justin and I, although not as consistently as I'd like, do have a book of blessing we pray over our children and a CD of blessings we play at night while they sleep.  It speaks to their spirits and we love that!  We truly believe it will change their lives.  I am praying that along with our intercession, speaking to their spirits, doing the 7x7, and dedicating time towards knowing their special gifts God has blessed them with we might lead them down the path towards God.   I found on At the Well a little quote from the 1800's.

We do not devote sufficient time to quiet, patient, solitary thought. We adopt a system suited to our inclinations, and pursue it with little examination as to its effects. We are contented to do as others do, not striving to do better . . . Let us therefore begin at home--begin with ourselves, and proceed, as Job proceeded, to intercede for every individual of our beloved circle.

What an awesome challenge to women/mothers/wives.  I am inspired by the women of old and could only pray to instill into my heart those same values that my life and family would better serve the Lord.

I have a quick new challenge to give to you.  I found it at http://www.shelookethwell.blogspot.com/ and she found it somewhere else.  It is amazing and I hope to be a good steward of this Challenge! I pass it on to you.

60/60
"Here's the challenge: Set your watch to chime every hour and use that small prompt to turn your heart and thoughts heavenward. The second part of the "60/60" refers to the duration of the challenge~ 60 days"  It was also suggested that you carry around a 3x5 card to read and pray over as your watch chimes. 

Gifts
11. Older Women who can encourage and instill wisdom
12. Music-the whimsical harmonies and consistent beats that bring my heart to Joy
13. Singing-making music with my voice and even better with my husband and children
14. A husband that serves his family with passion
15. being loved
16. Green Grass

Take the challenge and find 1000 gifts-Praise God Oh Your Soul

The treasures the Lord has entrusted to me!


Thursday Favorites on Monday



Ahhhh, how crazy is life! I'm only five days late doing my favorites.  But better to do them than not at all right?!  I've been pondering what to do this week and considering that I always feel compelled to choose something I'm not particularily fond of on a regular basis.  It would be easy to do Favorites for something I really LOVE, but what would be challenging about that?  So, here I again torn about whether to do something I LOVE or something I need to LOVE MORE!

After much deliberation I've again chosen something challenging rather than obvious.  I think I will grow more as a person if I can reflect more on the things I don't normally appreciate.  I want to start by confessing that I've seem to be under attack from the dark one (I won't capitalize his name b/c I feel it gives him more power than he actually possess but you know who I mean!).  As soon as I started spending more time with Christ, the word, reflecting on the path God has chosen for me and trying to adjust my attitude, the dark one steps in and tries to steal the thunder.  I've been feeling DETACHED.  I pour out my feelings about my children, my home, my heart and then he interrupts by taking away my ZEAL and my ZEST. 

The other day I was sitting in the front room with my kiddos and I thoughts, "okay, we should do a project."  Then as quickly as I thought those words I thought, "Oh, I don't want to get up and get it all together."  So, I didn't.  What?!  What is that about.  Something that would be best for my kids, fun for us, work for me of course, but rewarding none-the-less, and I let it pass right by like I never had the thought.

I suppose this opens the door to a quick look at SIN and then the EFFECTS of SIN in our lives.

What is SIN?

Simply stated, "The nature of sin is any evil action or evil motive that is in opposition to God. Sin is displacing God from His rightful place."  Sin begins with idolatry and self-centeredness.
 
At the blog: Confident Christianity MJ States the following about Sin: (http://confidentchristianity.blogspot.com/search/label/Sin)
 
Sin will always have a self-centered view of life.
Sin also leaves people with an inability to love according to God’s desire.
Sin often times becomes an enslavement of bondage.
http://www.confidentchristianity.com/
 
What are the EFFECTS of Sin on our Lives?
 
I found this little synopsis as a quick look at how sin affects us with biblical references.

First, sin separates a person from a being of absolute purity, God (Isaiah 59:1-2). No one can live a fulfilling life and enjoy true happiness as long as he is separated form his creator.

Second, sin saddens. The prodigal son was in a state of depression until he "came to himself" and was reunited with his father (Luke 15:1ff).

Third, sin scars. Even when a person knows he has been forgiven of his sin, he may continue to carry the burden of his sin. Long after his conversion, Paul still referred to himself as the "chief of sinners" (I Timothy 1:15).

Fourth, sin sours. Carrying the burden of sin can often cause a person to become negative and overly critical of others.

Fifth, sin sickens. Sin, along with its consequences and feelings of guilt, can produce heart problems, ulcers, and emotional difficulties.

Sixth, sin sears. When sin is left uncorrected it allows the heart to become hardened. Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus concerning those persons who were "past feeling" (Ephesians 4:19).
This article was adapted from "The Bible and Mental Health," by Wayne Jackson.

But lets be clear, it isn't just about behavior modification.  If I could just DO things differently. It is about Heart Transformation.  Many religions out there tell you that if you could just get it all RIGHT, you'll be good, worthy, holy.  I argue that this is a lie from Satan.  It is about renewing your heart and your mind. Our mindset cannot change until our treasure is Christ alone. (The Christ of the Holy Bible)

Satan slithers in and promises us things that he can never deliver.  I know you might think this is a big jump from not doing projects with my kids to Sin and Satan.  But it truly is an example of Satan slithering into my life and slowing me down, distracting me from what I ought to be doing as a TITUS 2 Woman of faith and holding me back.  Ugh...the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach.

So, I'm sure you ask yourself, what are your FAVORITES? after that long "thing" up above.

Well, here we go....wait for it...DOING PROJECTS WITH MY KIDS.
It isn't that I don't naturally love doing the projects, it is that I do not like cleaning it all up.  So I let the cleaning it up keep me from doing it at all.  TOTALLY CRAZY.

So here we go...
DOING PROJECTS WITH MY KIDS
1.Watching their faces light up when they make something new and uniquely theirs
2.The fun of seeing them explore new textures, colors, and experiences
3.Spending time getting to know each one of them and their preferences
4.Seeing them encourage one another
5.Hearing them laugh and giggle while they learn
6. Guiding them through the process of learning something new
7.Watching them finally understand something we've been working on for a while
8.Seeing the world through their eyes as the door opens to something new
9.Imparting God's word in their hearts through play
10.Hanging up completed and crazy artwork
11.Hearing them tell daddy all about it when he gets home
12.The pride they and security they have in their heart

That is it for now. I suppose I could have more but I like to stop once I have to think too hard for an answer!
I ask you to pray for me as I am trying to release the laziness I feel and engage.  I need to think of them more, myself less, and pursue Christ!

"Sin takes you farther than you are willing to go, keeps you longer than you are willing to stay and has a price higher than you are willing to pay"-CS Lewis

One Thousand Gifts

It is Monday again which is crazy! Time seems to fly these days.  I don't remember time passing me as quickly when I was younger but I've noticed more now how the slips away.  I've already seen a difference in my attitude since starting this new blog.  My desire for Christ is stronger, my attitude more positive, and my outlook is turning up.  I'm not saying it was down before I'm just saying things are already changing within me and that is effecting what comes out of me. 

My world is forever full of adventure although small to some still adventure.  I've been potty training the twins which I knew would be an undertaking that would either go well or not well at all.  They have surprised me in that they have taken to the concept quite well and the execution is about 80%.  You know boys, they get playing, distracted, and suddenly there isn't any time to get to a restroom.  Trace seems particularily resistent to telling me he needs to go potty.  He waits until I ask.  I have finally figured out WHY!  He is ultra attached to this sword that he calls his "stick sword".  He carries it in his pants like using his pants waste band to hold it to his body.  When he goes to the bathroom it requires removing the stick sword from his body along with his other precious item, his shoes.  (In case you are wondering why the shoes, that is because we have our boys sit backwards on the potty making them feel more secure and at ease with using it.  But the clothes have to come off for that).  He does not want to remove his items of clothes or his stick sword.  So what happens if I forget to ask?  FUNNY you asked that---
Trace has established this uncanny ability to be playing outside at the precise moment he needs to go #2!  So, he removes his clothes to go swimming and then suddenly he is pooping in the grass or even worse, on the patio.  AGHHHH!  I could scream at the sight of it now and find myself totally infuriated, although sympathetic to his predicament, that he has once again gone poop on the patio.  It is a task to get it all cleaned up.  Which I must do immediately b/c I have, I dare say, found them playing in it with sticks before. I know GROSS!

So, my week last week started with a few of those episodes and that seemed to snowball into a stream of them doing small things I assumed they now knew not to do.  Breaking crayons, unrolling toilet paper, climbing up onto the counter, spitting out pieces of apple skin as they insist on eating a whole apple not one that is cut, trying to lift their sister or playing too rough, playing in my office when I am not in there...I'm sure you are getting the drift.  I find myself just exasperated with the amount of times I repeat myself during the day! Not about things that I would consider disobedient items, those items they find themselves being disciplined for.  I'm talking about just reminding them, "quiet, sister is sleeping", "no screaming", "don't run too fast in the house", "play nicely", "be kind", "eat your lunch then you can play", "stay seated", "get dressed"...

But, almost at about the same time I discovered I was feeling a little drained and redundant from day to day I started the Monday Gifts.  Even now as I type I'm thinking of all the responses I feel to those things in which I am "complaining" about.  I feel my heart telling, "but they play together and that is awesome", "they are loud because they are excited about life", "they get into things they know not too because they are curious".  It is acutally refreshing to realize that for everything I could complain about there is an even stronger pulling positive spin to put on it.  That God's JOY allows for me to find happiness, laughter, and love in all things.  To look to the Father for REJUVINATION when I am feeling tired and worn out.  To quickly PRAY for strength when I start to feel frustrated.  I mean how many times a day can a woman get a kid something to eat and something to drink?  I can tell you!  LIMITLESS.  With the energy of the Lord I can find JOY in my responsibilities as a Mother.  I can find teachable moments that will infect my children's hearts and minds as they strive to find themselves. 

I'm not perfect in this new way of looking at life.  Even tonight my husband had to remind me to tone it down with my frustration over the little things and to say things more lovingly.  I've grown in my ability to receive his guidance.  Thank goodness for that.

I hope that as you read this you too find that you have been looking at the challenges of Motherhood with a shortsighted view.  Try looking at them through God's view.  Put on Micah 6:8
Act Justly, love Mercy and walk HUMBLY with your God.

Lord that I might be slow to anger, patient, and a woman with a quietness and peace. That when I speak it might be of something honoring to you.   That I might lead my children to have a passion for you that only you can instill in them.  That I might just be a reflection of your Glory and their need for a life with you. Help me to be transparent in my need for you and my journey of growth.  That others might be encouraged to serve you.  Amen

GIFTS
7. A wrinkled nose smile from a precious little boy
8. The smell of fresh baked bread (it doesn't have to be made from scratch)
9. The shrill of joy that comes from my children when their daddy gets home
10. Getting two more boys out of diapers!

I found this great little snip below at At the Well...In pursuit of Titus 2 and I thought I'd put it here too for those who might read my blog to take a look! Enjoy  You can get the whole post at the link above.

HAPPINESS

Colossians tells us to "set our minds on things above, not on earthly things." We can choose to focus and keep our minds on what is making us unhappy, or we can renew our minds in the joy of the Lord, counting our blessings and thinking on the many things God has provided for our happiness- chocolate, lovely flowers, leaves turning in the fall, puppy dogs, a warm bath, a child's embrace... Philippians tells us, "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable- if anything is excellent or praiseworthy- think about such things."
We need to teach our children, and live by example, to enjoy everyday life, to have fun together, and to laugh. We must teach them that as Christians, we can experience true JOY no matter what our circumstances are. Even in sad times, even in grief, we still have joy in the Lord and who we are in Christ.
Mother Theresa said, "Joy is prayer. Joy is strength. Joy is love. Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. God loves a cheerful giver. one gives most who gives with joy. The best way to show our gratitude to God and people is to accept everything with joy. A joyful heart is the normal result of a heart burning with love. Never let anything so fill you with sorrow as to make you forget the joy of Christ risen. This I tell you my sisters. This I tell you."

Verses to Pray in the Morning

Psalms 86:11


Teach me Your way, Lord,
and I will live by Your truth.
Give me an undivided mind to fear Your name.

Luke 9:23

If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow Me.


Luke 11:3

Give us each day our daily bread.

Matthew 6:33

seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness
Luke 22:42

“…not My will, but Yours, be done.”


Colossians 1:11-12
may you be prepared to endure everything with patience, while joyfully 12 giving thanks to the Father, who has enabled you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the light.


Psalm 19:14

May the words of my mouth
and the meditation of my heart
be acceptable to You,
Lord, my rock and my Redeemer.

http://www.scripturezealot.com/

Thursday Favorites



Favorites Friday
Well it is to be expected that I would also be behind on my Favorites day which is supposed to be Thursday and SURPRISE--it is Friday! Oh well can't be too tough on myself.  We've been busy around here.  We recently got a membership to the YMCA here in Glendale and we've jumped right in with taking the kids to play while we exercise them the boys get to swim with Justin afterwards (which they LOVE).  They are actually amazing swimmers considering swim lessons have always been a NON-FAVORITE for the kids.  All 3 of them are really pretty good!

So, on to my favorites.  I wanted to pick another THEME because that helped me focus my attention on things to be joyful about.  You know me...I'm pretty structured. 

Today I chose WAKING UP! Ha, this should be good!  Waking up hasn't been so easy this past year.  I've had this ongoing goal to get up before the kids do in the morning, spend some time with God in prayer and take a shower.  That would just amp up and kick start my day! Makes sense right?  Well, not been so easy for me.  I am TIRED! So, TIRED! I am hoping that joining the YMCA and exercising, which I haven't done since I started having kids (4+ years now) would give me some energy to make this happen.  So far...I'm struggling.  But, I know if I spend some time really meditating on it I can find some wonderful things about WAKING UP!

Favorites about Waking Up
1. The cool weather in the mornings as the sun breaks the horizon
2. The quiet in the neighborhood
3. My children's joy in finding that yet another day has begun (they have a plan you know)
4. Hearing, "Good Morning Mommy" from my precious boys
5. Going in to get Brynn as she squeals with delight and a smile as wide as her little face!
6. Taking a long drink of some water or milk to satisfy my thirst from the night
7. Saying morning prayers with the kids over breakfast
8. FINALLY taking a shower (whenever that might happen)
9. Snuggling in bed during those mornings that I'm truly dragging myself.  The kids will come snuggle and laugh
10. Knowing I have nothing to do but spend time with my children

Wow, I'm actually surprised that I had 10 with how I let myself concentrate on being tired in the morning.  If I could only think about all these wonderful things instead of my personal struggle with fatigue.  What a blessing that would be.  I hope this has been a blessing to you.

God's word says:

"It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23

"This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."
Psalms 118:24

Treasure each new day!

One Thousand Gifts

ONE THOUSAND GIFTS

Okay so week two and I'm already behind.  As you know today is Wednesday and I completely missed blogging about the gifts I've been reflecting upon.  My goal is to do it on Monday's and it should have been predictable that I would be late on the second week.  Isn't the "great distractor" like that?!  Well, it is unchangeable so here we are on Wednesday and I'm ready to pour myself into the gifts I've been embracing and meditating on. 

This past week, although distracting from getting to sit down and blog, has been really good.  I have noticed some improvement between my children and them being able to play together with less interruption of disagreements.  They have been loving to one another and comforting each other.  It is so awesome to see. 

On Sunday our Pastor started a new series on relationships and talked about the idea of community under Grace.  He gave a great picture through scripture of us being sheep and Christ as the Shepherd.  As he explained what sheep are truly about (Dumb, Diseased, and Defenseless) I felt humbled.  He talked about how the Shepherd has "tools" that help him to keep his sheep safe and protected.  The Rod is to ward off danger that might try to steal the sheep and the staff is to quickly rein in the sheep as they wander and go astray.  I thought of how in a similar way to Jesus being our Shepherd, we as parents also Shepherd our children.  We are the Sheep in our relationship to Christ and they (the children) are Sheep to us as parents.  (I'm not neglecting the fact that children are also sheep to Christ as we are but just creating a relative comparison between children and parents and our responsibility over them.) 

Children are as sheep are (Dumb, Defenseless, and Diseased).  As their parents we do not take lightly the duty of shepherding them.  My desire is that I would shepherd my children towards Christ so that He might be their Shepherd someday.  To both condition them to be shepherded and to also revere the shepherd with love, respect, and reliance.  It is all to common in today's world that young children are raised with a disrespect of authority, issues with broken families, and a sense of independence and entitlement they do not truly posses.  Thus making it all that much harder for them to come to a full knowledge of Christ and the ability to be both shepherded by Him and to develop a relationship with Him.  If I could only raise my children in a manner that would lend them the ability to be both shepherded and to grow in personal relationship with Christ that is the greatest gift I could give them.  During this process acting as the Shepherd that keeps the danger away with the Rod and reins them in with the Staff when they begin to go astray.  This, to me, is a wonderful picture of discipline.

1 last part to add as a part of the shepherds tools is oil.  I didn't know shepherds used oil.  They annoint the head of a sheep to keep flies away and to reduce the friction when the sheep but heads.  It is a picture of the spirit acting as in intercesor over us.  The spirit reduces our friction with others by touching deeply our "worldy relationships" and changing us from the inside out.  The spirit also protects us (flies).  It is the "tool" used by the shepherd that is attached to the sheeps body.  The Rod and the Staff are external methods of shepherding while the Oil is a physical method of protection.  I see the Father (the Shepherd), Son (Rod and Staff) and Spirit (Oil) acting in this same way over us as sheep.

Our pastor went on to explore the parable of the shepherd that leaves the 99 sheep in search for the 1 that is lost.  His passion and love for the 1 that is lost runs deep and he leaves the other 99 in the safety of the flock in order FIND the 1.  God is constantly pursuing us.  He is seeking to find the lost sheep and bring them back to the fold.  He knows that if they are not found they will tumble to their death.  Our pastor explained that sheep are notorious for eating their way up on to a hill that they cannot then get back down from.  Thus they plunge to their death.  They are also such followers that if 1 leads them off the edge of a cliff the rest following will also fall.  Isn't that us?  Aren't we so blinded from the truth at times that we will happily tumble to death?  I am so overwhelmed with the picture of God pursuing us until we are found.  Praise God that I am found. 

Now in response to His enduring, faithful and longsuffering love I long to serve Him with my whole heart.  I "do" those things which I know honor Him out of a response to His love.  I have already been given His love.  Christ built the bridge for me that I might spend eternity with God our of the Fathers love for us.  There is nothing I can do to earn something that is already given to me.  My part of the relationship is to serve and love Him and to love others that they might love Him.  He FOUND me!  I am smitten by HIM!

GIFTS
3. Loud belly rolling laughter
4. Cool Sheets when I get into bed
5. My boys hugging one another
6. Quick prayers when I feel I need help (I know my God hears me)

Check out Titus 2 at the Well today for some great tips about Mothering that posted over the weekend! God Bless you.


At the Well Blog Button

Thursday Favorites



First Day of Favorites
Today I chose Cleaning as my Favorites theme because it just so happens that cleaning is my main priority today inbetween the kids, meals, and playing.  It is good that I chose this theme because I am not particularily fond of cleaning although I'm desperately anal about having a clean house (as in picked up, things in their place, and free from messes and clutter).  The deeper cleaning I could actually let go a lot longer than maybe most so I have to really commit myself to staying on top of it.  It doesn't help that for 2 years after the twins were born I had someone coming every two weeks to clean it for me.  The stuff I don't like to do like bathrooms and floors.  But, in the honor of being frugal and attempting to meet our savings goal (encouraged by our commitment to Dave Ramsey's debt free plan) we have let the cleaning lady rest for a while.  So now, it's ME! 

So I've made my list of what I think I can actually accomplish, I've learned not to be too over zealous because the kids are my priority!  I like to use that as excuse to escape the nagging chose sometimes too!

Favorite Things About Cleaning:
1. The aroma of cleaning products (although some might argue that natural, unscented is best) I appreciate the "smell" of clean
2. Having my children desire to help me clean and asking to spray and wipe, vaccum and mop.  I would like to think my sons will be fairly domesticated!
3. The feeling of satisfaction that comes from getting it all done and accomplishing what I set out to do. PRODUCTIVITY
4. The feeling that comes with knowing someone could drop by at any time and I would glad to have them come in!
5. Knowing where everything is and being able to easily tell someone where to find something (I admit it isn't true about ALL things as they do tend to sometimes wander but it feels good to know I have a place for it all even if others, 4 and under, don't want to take note).
6. Watching my daughters face as I vaccum. She isn't afraid and she squeals with delight.
7. You might think this is cruel but I think it is so darn cute when someone accidentally forgets the floor is wet and manages to slip just a little while walking.  Unless it is me!
8. Showing my sons the importance of hard work and encouraging them to do the same.

That is it. My list is full. I didn't have to think too hard about the above 8 but realized after that last one I'd be stretching to come up with much more!  I hope any one who reads this finds JOY is reflecting upon their favorite things and starts to see their day and they time as something that is glorifying to our Lord.

Beginning My Quest to be a Titus 2 Woman

Titus 2:1-5
But you, explain what kind of behavior goes along with sound teaching. Tell the older men to be serious, sensible, self-controlled and sound in their trust, love and perseverance. Likewise, tell the older women to behave the way people leading a holy life should. They shouldn’t be slanderers or slaves to excessive drinking. They should teach what is good, thus training the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to take good care of their homes and submit to their husbands. In this way, God’s message will not be brought into disgrace.
 
Reading the first 5 verses of Titus 2 actually brought a few important questions to my mind.  In reference to older women training younger women to love their husbands and children, to be sel-controlled and pure, to take good care of their home, and to submit to their husbands.  Wow, that 1 sentance  describe the complete opposite of what I see going on in the world today with women.  Are older women encouraging younger women in this way?  This is directly from the WORD of the LORD.  This isn't my judgement upon my peers  as to the proper role for women.  This is God's word describing to us what women ought to be pursuing. 
 
I see a true lack of women encouraging other women to love their husbands.  I can't remember a show on TV in the last several years that actually depicts a woman selflessly loving her husband.  Not to say there aren't any I just don't remember any.  Somewhere along the story line a woman who is married and has children expresses exasperation with her life, maybe has an affair, sees her children as a burden and longs for a promotion in her workplace as her ultimate proof of her value (to the world).  That brings me to women encouraging women to love their children.  I can't judge someone's LOVE for her children but I can see the fruits of her labor.  Jobs, career ladder, money, travel, social elitism, popularity, and so much more often seems to take the wheel with women in our current culture.  And the older women are guiding the younger women to believe that they are accessing some RIGHT of theirs that was absent in the past and are fighting against to oppression of women.  Those women, those who have put "things" before their children, suddenly become a part of a GREAT cause in our culture and their children become something tossed aside in the wake of their efforts to succeed. 
Don't get me wrong I'm not against success or fighting for a cause or desiring to contribute to this world.  But it appears after reading scripture that all of those things are secondary or should coincide with LOVING their husbands and their children FIRST.  The scripture continues to explain that women ought to take good care of their homes and submit to their husbands.  I'm guilty of this myself.  The idea that submission in some way is offensive or lessens my value to the man.  I've come to a greater understanding of this scripture and this idea over the past few months.  Submission is something that God shares with the Son and the Spirit and neither of them is the lesser.  Of course you have to fully believe in the TRINITY to understand this idea of submission.  I'm going to save the discussion on Submission for another day.  I want to focus more on the lie the world and older women of this country are teaching the younger women about taking care of the home.  How can someone take care of their home when they spend countless hours working and striving to meet goals outside of the home.  I suppose this leaves room for defining what "taking care of the home" means.  It has many appearances in our world today.  I would say for me it means you are hands-on with your home.  Not someone who lives there, sleeps there, eats there but truly cares for all the aspects of your home including your husband and children.
 
God uses the term GOOD in referring to the older women teaching the younger women these things.  He says to be self-controlled and pure.  He would not encourage women to be those things if He did not think their was reason.  We, in our human nature, can quickly be out of control and lack purity.  Young women are easily misled to believe that their value comes in other, instantly gratifying forms.  What an unfortunate situation we are in with our older women and our younger women.  What will happen to this next generation of young girls?
 
It is hard to encourage someone to heed God's word when his WORD is so steadfastly black and white.  It seems that if you take a stand on something such as this you are instantly deemed as JUDGEMENTAL or EXCLUSIVE in a world that so enthusiastically pushes for the idea INDIVIDUALISTIC.  Anything goes.  What fits you is good.  What fits another is great.  Noone can tell you what is RIGHT.  You make your own path.  I often want to speak sarcastically or with emphasis that relates that I'm right and they are wrong.  But I know this is not God's way.  I have realized that scripture is black and white and in order for people to be receptive to that they must first see Jesus in me.  A writer for "At the Well" put it this way:
 
A better plan is to really believe what we believe, share it freely, and then lovingly give each other space to follow God as best we know how. We are not the ones other people have to please. They only need to please God, and He will reveal the things He wants each of us to know in His own timing.
 
I also want to find a way to implore to people how wonderful children are.  To view them as a "heritage from the Lord".  As I learn what it means to be a good wife that loves my husband and submits to him, I know I feel passionate about loving children.  I feel like I understand this part of being a Titus 2 woman better at this point. I'm committed to growth in my relationship with Justin and committed to growth in my mothering of my children.  I can only reflect on what God says about children.  I found this little passage where a women was commenting on her decision not to use birth control. In this piece Jesus is speaking...
 
“Children are a gift from Me…well, for the next 6,000 years or so. But after that, you brilliant people will come up with a way to stop them from coming. The easiest way will be with a pill that often causes mood disorders, weight gain, nausea, abdominal pain, cancer and sometimes even abortion. But don’t worry about those, this is my will for you, I just forgot to mention it when the Bible was written. And when people make rude comments about your sex lives (which I created), you should be ashamed. I mean, anyone with a brain should be on birth control.” --Generation Cedar
I'm not saying yet whether I'm finished having children, I've recently felt compelled to have more.  I need to be in prayer about that.  But I do know that for the 4 we already have what a gift they are to us and how blessed we are to have them.  I want to always see them as a HERITAGE and share that with others.
 
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Col. 4:6 ESV
 

My First Monday of Gifts

I decided to take the Gift Challenge today.  Something in me stirred as I read another woman's Monday Confessions of God's Gifts.  It was almost like God thrust me forward and I instantly felt compelled to pour out my heart about Him.  I've been blogging about my children and my family.  Often expressing both the joys and frustrations I encounter from day to day as a mother, spouse, daughter, and friend.  I would need to confess now that I've held back come when it comes to my family blog.  I've written with consideration for what one might think when reading it.  And although often candid and honest I know deep down not nearly as honest as I could be.  Today marks a new day.  God revealed to me that blogging about my family and my children is beautiful.  But, nothing is more beautiful that what I am expriencing with Him.  I long to leave my children a legacy but I realize now that can only be done if I walk more intimately with Him.  I can only guide them, encourage them, serve them and equip them for this wonderful life if I am pouring myself into my Father, my God.  It has been a process really, my discovering of this in a true way.  Our pastor has been telling us for months that we, as humans, tend to make something good the ultimate, replacing our worship for the Lord.  I struggled to admit that I was doing this with my children and my family.  Although they are precious, wonderful, and gifts from the Lord, they should not be my ultimate.  He should.  Plain and simple.  I don't mean for them to be my ultimate, I love my God.  But, with an honest heart I can say they have been the thing (surprisingly) keeping from a deeper relationship with God.  The things (babies) He gave me, the little lives He blessed me with have interfered in my walk with God.  So, my quest has begun.  To find the path to a deeper relationship with Christ.  Then to infuse that relationship into my children, my husband, and my circle of life.  I desire to be moving closer to the center of what God has designed for our lives rather than being comfortable on the rim.  I want to be a greater woman of character, integrity and passion.  I do not know what the road will hold as I begin to travel.  I know the enemy will attempt to fight me off.  Truthfully though, I don't scare easily!  With my whole heart I want to be transparent from the inside out on this journey.  I know it might offend, scare, bore, or inspire others and I'm prepared for that.
 
If you desire to join me on the journey and take the Gifts Challenge...let me know, I'd love to travel with you!

My First Two Gifts
1. That God whispers to us in our most noisy moments
2. The sparkling image of God in an infant innocent eyes (my daughter showed me that one today).

"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint."Isaiah 40:31 (KJV)

7x7-Take the Challenge

7 Prayers to pray over our children 7 days a week.  They are aligned with 7 events during the day so I would remember more easily.  You can adjust the events and/or verses to ones that are more your style or verses you especially favor.  Put them on note cards and have them accessible.  See God move!

1. When they wake up: "Let the morning bring (child's name) word of your unfailing love, for she has put her trust in You. Show (her/him) the way (she/he) should go, for to you (he/she) lifts up her soul." (Adapted from Psalm 143:8)
2. When they are getting dressed: "Therefore, as God's chosen child, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Lord, help (him/her) bear with others and forgive whatever grievances (he/she) has against others. Help (him/her) forgive as the Lord forgave (him/her). And over all these virtues, help (him/her) put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Adapted from Colossians 3:12-14)
3. While they are eating: "Teach (child's name) the secret of being content in any and every situation whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. Teach (him/her) that (he/she) can do everything through him who gives (him/her) strength." (Adapted from Philippians 4:12-13)
4. When they go out of the house: "(Name of child), do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-His good, pleasing and perfect will." (Adapted from Romans 12:2)
5. While they are taking a bath: Lord, give (name of child) clean hands and a pure heart, and let (him/her) not lift (his/her) soul to an idol or swear by what is false. Let (him/her) receive blessing from the Lord and vindication from God (his/her) Savior. Let (him/her) be part of the generation of those who seek him, who seek your face, O God of Jacob. (Adapted from Psalm 24:4-6)
6. When they are going to bed: "The Lord Your God is with you; he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, be will rejoice over you with singing." (Zephaniah 3:17)
7. While they are sleeping: "I pray that (name of child) will do everything without complaining or arguing, so that he/she may become blameless and pure, a child of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which he/she shines like a star in the universe as he/she holds out the word of life-in order that he/she may boast on the day of Christ that he/she did not run or labor for nothing." (Adapted from Philippians 2:14-16)

 

Our Partners-Who Does Your Heart Belong To?

I wanted to start with this amzing challenge by Sarah Mae that I found at http://www.titus2atthewell.com/.  I found it comforting, challenging and encouraging! I hope you do too.

_____________________________________________________

"The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her." Proverbs 31:11,12


Who does your heart belong to?
Does it belong fully to your husband, or are there areas...secret places, if you will, that perhaps belong to someone else (real or imaginary)?
I want you to take a look into your emotions, those secret places, and areas that God perhaps wants to heal, change, or break so that you can give yourself fully and completely to your husband. No second thoughts, no what if's, no faltering.
"I am my lover's and my lover is mine..."

Now, you may say, “Sarah Mae, I will never leave my husband, it's not even an option. I am a loyal and committed wife.”
But...

I'm not asking about your commitment level, I'm asking if your husband has your heart? I don't just mean most of your heart...most of your love. Does he have all of it? Perhaps you have saved a tiny piece of your heart for someone else? Maybe a past love who still resides somewhere in there? Maybe a locked chamber that holds an unknown man that from time to time knocks to come out when you read certain books or watch certain movies?

Speaking of movies, I heard a great line from one and it brings the question into focus. Read it carefully and ponder it for a minute:

"What kind of marriage will that be? Knowing I have your loyalty, but he has your heart?"

Loyalty and heart, that is what we are to give to our husbands (and they us).

If the emotional door to your heart is unlocked and you have not given your heart to your husband completely, be prepared for a possible break-in.

Below are three truths that will help you on your journey to securing your heart fully for your husband.

1. We can choose who our hearts belong too
2. We can choose how we act.
3. We can pray and God will help us.

We Can Choose Who Our Hearts Belong To

God has given us authority over our domains. One of our domains is our hearts. If there is one thing I have learned from following my heart, as opposed to guiding it in wisdom, it is that when I do I usually find myself in a mess. It's lovely to say, "follow your heart," but the fact is, our hearts are filled with foolishness.

"He who leans on, trusts in, and is confident of his own mind and heart is a [self-confident] fool, but he who walks in skillful and godly Wisdom shall be delivered." Proverbs 28:26

If you have or are struggling with your heart being tugged by the memory of someone else (or someone else in reality), know that there is hope. You don't have to be in shackles; it is possible to train your heart. Keep reading.

We Can Choose How We Act

I am by no means saying that training our hearts is easy (in fact, we can't do it on our own - more on that later). It can be painful and challenging. It is worth every battle. For me, I have been believing a lie that I could not control my heart or how I would act if I saw someone that might open the floodgates to my heart. I was scared of myself and my emotions. The emotions may come, but the truth is I can control how I act and respond. I can have a plan ahead of time. I can be grounded in the truth.

We Can Pray and God Will Help Us

Oh, I love this! How wonderful that we have a God who cares and wants to help us..heal us. He hears our cries, and if we let Him, he will deliver us from the bondage of having feelings for another man. Prayer is powerful my friend! Sometimes we just need to get alone with God, on our faces, and pray and pray and pray. Sometimes we need a friend or mentor to pray with us and over us. If you are wrestling with feelings for someone other than your husband, do not keep it a secret! Find someone you trust and tell them. You need a battle partner. If God leads you, tell your husband as well.

Abiding in the above three truths will set you on a path to emotional freedom, but...

There is another truth that I want you to know...and to really believe. The truth that who you are married to is not a mistake.