I wanted to start with this amzing challenge by Sarah Mae that I found at http://www.titus2atthewell.com/. I found it comforting, challenging and encouraging! I hope you do too.
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"The heart of her husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and believes in her securely, so that he has no lack of [honest] gain or need of [dishonest] spoil. She comforts, encourages, and does him only good as long as there is life within her." Proverbs 31:11,12
Who does your heart belong to?
Does it belong fully to your husband, or are there areas...secret places, if you will, that perhaps belong to someone else (real or imaginary)?
I want you to take a look into your emotions, those secret places, and areas that God perhaps wants to heal, change, or break so that you can give yourself fully and completely to your husband. No second thoughts, no what if's, no faltering.
"I am my lover's and my lover is mine..."
Now, you may say, “Sarah Mae, I will never leave my husband, it's not even an option. I am a loyal and committed wife.”
But...
I'm not asking about your commitment level, I'm asking if your husband has your heart? I don't just mean most of your heart...most of your love. Does he have all of it? Perhaps you have saved a tiny piece of your heart for someone else? Maybe a past love who still resides somewhere in there? Maybe a locked chamber that holds an unknown man that from time to time knocks to come out when you read certain books or watch certain movies?
Speaking of movies, I heard a great line from one and it brings the question into focus. Read it carefully and ponder it for a minute:
"What kind of marriage will that be? Knowing I have your loyalty, but he has your heart?"
Loyalty and heart, that is what we are to give to our husbands (and they us).
If the emotional door to your heart is unlocked and you have not given your heart to your husband completely, be prepared for a possible break-in.
Below are three truths that will help you on your journey to securing your heart fully for your husband.
1. We can choose who our hearts belong too
2. We can choose how we act.
3. We can pray and God will help us.
We Can Choose Who Our Hearts Belong To
God has given us authority over our domains. One of our domains is our hearts. If there is one thing I have learned from following my heart, as opposed to guiding it in wisdom, it is that when I do I usually find myself in a mess. It's lovely to say, "follow your heart," but the fact is, our hearts are filled with foolishness.
"He who leans on, trusts in, and is confident of his own mind and heart is a [self-confident] fool, but he who walks in skillful and godly Wisdom shall be delivered." Proverbs 28:26
If you have or are struggling with your heart being tugged by the memory of someone else (or someone else in reality), know that there is hope. You don't have to be in shackles; it is possible to train your heart. Keep reading.
We Can Choose How We Act
I am by no means saying that training our hearts is easy (in fact, we can't do it on our own - more on that later). It can be painful and challenging. It is worth every battle. For me, I have been believing a lie that I could not control my heart or how I would act if I saw someone that might open the floodgates to my heart. I was scared of myself and my emotions. The emotions may come, but the truth is I can control how I act and respond. I can have a plan ahead of time. I can be grounded in the truth.
We Can Pray and God Will Help Us
Oh, I love this! How wonderful that we have a God who cares and wants to help us..heal us. He hears our cries, and if we let Him, he will deliver us from the bondage of having feelings for another man. Prayer is powerful my friend! Sometimes we just need to get alone with God, on our faces, and pray and pray and pray. Sometimes we need a friend or mentor to pray with us and over us. If you are wrestling with feelings for someone other than your husband, do not keep it a secret! Find someone you trust and tell them. You need a battle partner. If God leads you, tell your husband as well.
Abiding in the above three truths will set you on a path to emotional freedom, but...
There is another truth that I want you to know...and to really believe. The truth that who you are married to is not a mistake.
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