Bad Mom and Repentance

From At the Well:

“I am such a bad mom!”

As it has happened before–more times than I care to mention–I retreat from the chaos, hollering, and fighting into my bedroom, to give myself a time out.

“Father, I need your help. I’m not doing a very good job at this!” I am irritated and impatient. Quick to anger, abounding in selfishness, and not at all clothed with compassion or gentle understanding. I desperately want to be a good mom. Really, I do! I only have one problem. Sin.

I remember reading a book, before my husband and I had any children of our own, that claimed to be about how to raise kids to love Jesus. In the opening chapter of the book, the author made it clear that I had better deal with all of my problem areas, shortcomings, and sins before I ever considered having kids. If I didn’t, there was no way my children would follow God. I, the inveterate perfectionist that I am, panicked. If that was the case, there was no way that I could ever be a mom.

God, in His providence, helped me to put that book down. I never did finish reading it. I think many Christian moms cripple ourselves with perfectionism. We weigh ourselves down with a heavy burden, as though our children were saved by our works of righteousness.

How foolish we are to think this way! Lord, help us! The truth of the matter is that I am a bad mom. You are a bad mom. We’re all bad moms. The only solution to our problem is the Gospel.

“It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.” 1 Timothy 1:15 (NASB)

And so we repent and believe. And repent. And believe. And repent and believe.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 (ESV)

I confess my sins before Him. My totally desperate state, completely incapable of being a good mom on my own.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (ESV)

“I thank you, Father, that I don’t need to mother these children you have given me by my own strength. Help me to mother them by your grace.”

“Children, I’m really sorry for losing my temper just a few minutes ago. It was wrong of me to yell at you all like that. Will you forgive me?”

My little ones look up with me, with a sweet trust in their wide, precious eyes that I know I don’t deserve.

“Yes, Mom, we forgive you.”

They throw their arms around me, like the prodigal mom come home, and I choke back the tears. No, my children do not have a perfect mom. What they have is a redeemed mom. A mom who needs the Savior just as much as they do.