How do I calm the storms through the day enough to sing the Praises of the Lord?
For this question I lack an answer, a true, real, honest answer.
The voices of man child the Father gave to me, the laughter and the tears, filled with frustration and also frenzied joy...the volume is so loud at times I cannot overcome it with Praise.
My heart quietly sings it to Him when the moments are soft, as they are now, with blonde heads lay on pillows and brown pigtails softly wrapping her neck while she breathes deep...
Thank you Lord....breathing in and out as the rhythm is natural, given by God, written in His holy name, YHWH...Thank you Father...thank you...
If I could only be a reflection of constant Thanksgiving for my children, not subdued by the temptation to be exhausted or to curse the hard work laid before me...
But, rather to breathe Thanksgiving in ALL things....all things...
Each moment of opportunity to teach my children, to train them up...
To refuse the temptation to find it inconvenient, tiresome, exasperating...
Oh selfish me...longing to make myself god-like rather than to serve the True God...
Those moments with my children should feel and come to me like Gifts from the Father, to be snatched up and given Victory in Jesus as we carve their hearts and their spirits for Him...
For the carving is often done without the words but with the look and the tone and the unintentional communication from my heart to theirs...
Rather I long to live with Thanksgiving in my heart and a joyful smile on my face, even in the harsh moments of teaching and carving, which happens often, moment by moment, that the knife would never dull but rather miraculously, through God's grace continue carving...
That the noise and the business of raising five children would only lift my spirit to sing His praise for the gifts He gave cannot be measured by mere words but a state of being, a place of rest within me that I live in the moment of Thankfulness...
That I might breathe Grace....
Mercy...
Grace...YHWH...
Thank you Jesus for the blonde hairs upon their heads, ten fingers and toes, hearts that long to please, opportunities to seize, help me not to fail...to take the moment by the hand and guide it...
Toward You...
Thank you Lord...
Breathe Grace...
Then they too will Breathe Grace...
They too will echo my look, my tone, my communication, without the words...
They too will one day Breathe Thanksgiving...
My faith runs deep in so many things...I trust, obey, listen, petition...
In the thing God has given to me to do most abundantly, most routinely, most importantly, I lack the faith...
The faith to give Thanks because it requires Trust, Reliance, Vulnerability...
Why do I avoid vulnerability so...
To breathe grace upon those small faces, the future men, and the small, precious woman, in my life, would require to be vulnerable...to share saddness, disapointment, to let anger go and embrace the emotion behind it all...
My faith has a come to a curious end in this moment where I refuse to raise them in the light of God's rejoicing for ALL things and His abundant Grace and Mercy...
Father create in me a clean heart...
From Anne today:
"Our thanks to God is our witness to the goodness of God when Satan and all the world would sneer at us to recant."
"When I only give thanks for some things, aren’t I likely to miss giving God glory in most things?"
"Doesn’t God call His people to a non-discriminating response in all circumstances? “[G]iv[e] thanks always and for everything” (Ephesians 5:20 ESV)."
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