I've felt uninspired. Somewhat lacking in anything I would consider elegant speech. Words are missing. I've been silent for a few weeks. The preparing of Easter & experiencing Lent seemed to leave me dry for words. The growing and tending to children in the hours of both day and night as my husband is away also making for a quiet spread.
I sometimes think to myself that I will stay up at night when the little voices are tired and laid to rest in their beds. Heads heavy on the pillow from a long day of playing...inside, outside, upside down!
Their laughter fills our home (at times their fighting too) and I look forward to the quiet moments in the dark that I have while my husband is away. Then the time comes and I'm too tired for words.
When the words come smoothly to my lips or should I say my fingertips I joyfully spill them out onto this blank white canvas. When I struggle to find them I resist, holding back from exploring the struggle. I tend to wait for it to pass.
God knows me. He knows of my inability to fake inspiration. He knows I will sit quiet. I think He calls me to this quiet or at the least uses it to Glorify Him. He calls me to the periods of time away from this blank page and to the tending of more significant things.
My husband has been spending many hours away from home, working diligently to provide for us. This causes me to focus in on those things that are most important when he is home. Time with us, me the kids, time to rest (which he would say comes last!), church fellowship, friends, reflecting on God's gifts to us. There is much to do when a man spends many hours away from home. It draws a sort of silence upon the things that aren't as important.
I didn't ask him to get out Easter decorations this year like I would have in the past. I tried to reconcile that Easter isn't in the decorations but in the Person. My husband, without suggestion, put on and watched with the littles an Easter Bible Story movie. The Resurrection means a lot to them. At just their small ages they KNOW Jesus rising from the dead is the most important part of the story.They follow without question. They see no reason to require proof, ask unanswerable questions, wrap their minds around the "magic" of it all. They simply follow Him and Love Him. To have a faith like a child...
I had planned to do a Passover meal with them. Bought a beautiful plate, cup, and platter set from DaySpring.com. Then, as the day approached I felt the Lord quiet me again. There is much time as they grow to experience all the significance of Easter. It will come again. This year just be WITH them...
My longing to establish traditions was trumped this year with silence and quiet.
We did spend some time, while daddy was here, reading the Trail to the Tree provided by Ann, discussing how Adam and Eve's sin caused the need for Christ to die. They listened long and thought deeply of His Love.
I normally would be so uncomfortable with not finishing the Trail to the Tree. I like to start and finish something. I feel wrong when we don't or can't. But this time I again felt God soothe my heart. It's okay. It's about me...
Today is Monday and on Monday we consider God's blessings...His gifts in our life. Mine are abundant...and He is here...it is about Him.
GIFTS:
236. Quiet moments to draw in Grace
237. The trail to the tree (and the learning that happens each season with it)
238. Sunny days, not too hot, with running little feet on the pavement
239. Seasons (things come and go and with it bring God's will)
240. Nail scarred hands
241. Christ doing what He said He would do, those thing prophesied long ago
242. The learning in the quiet
243. Lacking-Inspiration giving way to new things
244. Strawberries and red stains on little fingers
245. Light dispelling the dark
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