She-pherd Mother

I feel like a Tiger in my home from time to time.  I spend some days wandering behind the children rearranging toys, picking up muddied socks from the grass with green stains sooo deep I'm sure they'll never come out, and making meals for them only to have them zip down from the table and out the door again.  I cherish the moments but at times find they overwhelm me to the point of losing patience with simple things.  Then the Tiger...

My voice raises over the noise and the commotion, I feel the stirring inside my belly rising up with frustration...

they are fighting again.  Not sharing. Not loving, Not listening to one another...tattling and whining...

The Tiger...
I strive to be more like the lamb.  I ache to keep it together, take a deep breath, hold it in and breath it out with love.

Build them up...try to build them up...say words that make them stronger...

I'm stirred by Ann's remark:

When did I start seeing children as commonplace and stop seeing motherhood as a holy place?

The miracle that spun them into existence and the calling they have in their journey is not unto me or my satisfaction but God's.

They have never been given to me for my own joy or my own success. Rather we are the ones called to give. They are simply the gifts.

With all my heart I desire for them to honor God. Obedience, respect, love, gentleness, self control, joy, peace, patience, kindness...for Him.  Wonder, experience, discovery, soaking long in a story, imagination sparked, possibilities endless...I lay myself down to lift them up.

but He speaks of lamb mothers with the heart of the Lion of Judah who lay down their lives for the sheep.

I am the mother, the giver, the sacrifice...

How can I do that when I am sometimes a Tiger rather than a Lamb mother.

Finding grace...Today I search for Grace in God's arms. I try to cover myself in His grace, begin fresh and stir the Lamb mother laying to sleep the Tiger.

I fear I must do this with intention...daily. It comes too quickly some days. Especially those lonely days alone, with no daddy to interrupt the day.  How they LOVE that daddy.

Rising each morning, praying for His grace, laying to rest the Tiger, and mothering the lambs...

Laying down my life that they might truly live...
And in that I may truly LOVE which has been my longest dream.