Walk with Him Wednesday

The Practice of Marriage...hmmmm I murmur to myself and take a deep breath, as I ponder whether I can truly contribute to this discussion as my marriage is still truly in the birthing stage.  It is cloaked in the appearance of being matured and steadfast as my husband and I have created five angels and brought God's gifts into the world in just six short, often long in feeling, but sweet in reflection, years since our "I do's".  I DO...what are those words we spoke.

Words we pledge to one another in the stillness of the moment when all the world stands still so that we might become ONE.  Breathed with youth, innocence, good willed intention of grace, love, adoration, promise, and commitment.  In that moment all is possible, all has come full circle, love has spawned a new beginning and the world is as foot.

I DO...
I DO...
I DO...

Do I love unconditionally when the words we once spoke with love and honor become harsh and jagged with edges that cut deep in the night?
Do I serve fully when the rewards seem shallow and few?
Do I press forward with compassion towards the man who chose me, or for whom I was chosen by God to make his life whole, two to become one?
Do I respect Him because God calls me to, commands me to, promising reward for looking past the man and setting my eyes upon the Lord?

The seasons come in quickly once the vows are spoken and the lives that were once two are now one and we make our bed together and rise under the same sun.  For us the stretching of skin, kicking of tiny feet and joyful pangs of childbirth arrived ten short months after breathing our "I do's". Naked, pink and warm with life he brought a new season of life to our fresh, barely birthed marriage. The two were both infants at once.

The season of childbearing, angel making, quiver-filling has yet to be subsided.  This season sits long, breathes deep, blesses much and will pass too quickly I fear.  Within this season are yet smaller, more subtle seasons as my husband and I learn, grow, repent, renew, and repeat our love for one another beneath the cloak of making and birthing babies.  We are birthing babies and birthing marriage at the same time.  This comes with many lessons and many blessings.

We till the ground of marriage, churning it, kneading it, watering it into something ever growing and maturing.  We take care to keep the light and the dark upon it for proper amounts of time.  We give the dark it's pleasant intimacy and the day its laughter and loudness as little boys and 1 sweet girl fill our home with joy.  Again we till the ground, churn it, knead it, water it expecting growth towards the direction of the ultimate light.  At times we find the weeds.  Harsh yet necessary cleansing must happen and we start fresh with a new bed.  We are not gardeners and gardening comes with difficulty.  To be a farmer of hearts and minds and souls without being a farmer of the land presents challenges.  But, we press on thinking of our I DO's and our love and our promise.

Ann states, "The Farmer knows seasons.  He knows you cannot change them or race them and it’s best to just look to the sky and let come what comes and be the man patient, lips murmuring prayers, the thick hands working silent love. He does this. Tilling soul soils for years."
 
And so I turn down beds, fold fresh laundered shirts and pair socks, fail at cooking "good" meals but try my hardest, think of him while he toils for our satisfaction, pat baby bottoms over and over to bring about sleep, cut crust off sandwiches, breath "YHWH" in earnest, run warm bath water, clothe and lay down precious babes to dreams, and slip quietly into my room to till and tend to the man I love and do what makes us ONE to honor the God-Spirit-Man three in ONE.

Through the seasons I pray we don't lose sight of the night and we claim each day; tilling, turning, kneading and sometimes starting anew, clearing the weeds...each season bringing its own blessings and lessons...embracing each with open arms and hearts filled with His LOVE.

I DO promise to LOVE through the seasons. LOVE as both a choice and a feeling. I do this to honor my savior because in the end I know this is the only way to truly say I DO at all.  It covers every season, every change, all the growth, the birthing of babes, the night and the day, the love, laughter and the tears, the weeds.  I see now that my I DO really was a promise to God not to my husband.  We become ONE that we might show our true love to HIM--THE ONE.  YHWH.