Titus 2:1-5
But you, explain what kind of behavior goes along with sound teaching. Tell the older men to be serious, sensible, self-controlled and sound in their trust, love and perseverance. Likewise, tell the older women to behave the way people leading a holy life should. They shouldn’t be slanderers or slaves to excessive drinking. They should teach what is good, thus training the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to take good care of their homes and submit to their husbands. In this way, God’s message will not be brought into disgrace.
Reading the first 5 verses of Titus 2 actually brought a few important questions to my mind. In reference to older women training younger women to love their husbands and children, to be sel-controlled and pure, to take good care of their home, and to submit to their husbands. Wow, that 1 sentance describe the complete opposite of what I see going on in the world today with women. Are older women encouraging younger women in this way? This is directly from the WORD of the LORD. This isn't my judgement upon my peers as to the proper role for women. This is God's word describing to us what women ought to be pursuing.
I see a true lack of women encouraging other women to love their husbands. I can't remember a show on TV in the last several years that actually depicts a woman selflessly loving her husband. Not to say there aren't any I just don't remember any. Somewhere along the story line a woman who is married and has children expresses exasperation with her life, maybe has an affair, sees her children as a burden and longs for a promotion in her workplace as her ultimate proof of her value (to the world). That brings me to women encouraging women to love their children. I can't judge someone's LOVE for her children but I can see the fruits of her labor. Jobs, career ladder, money, travel, social elitism, popularity, and so much more often seems to take the wheel with women in our current culture. And the older women are guiding the younger women to believe that they are accessing some RIGHT of theirs that was absent in the past and are fighting against to oppression of women. Those women, those who have put "things" before their children, suddenly become a part of a GREAT cause in our culture and their children become something tossed aside in the wake of their efforts to succeed.
Don't get me wrong I'm not against success or fighting for a cause or desiring to contribute to this world. But it appears after reading scripture that all of those things are secondary or should coincide with LOVING their husbands and their children FIRST. The scripture continues to explain that women ought to take good care of their homes and submit to their husbands. I'm guilty of this myself. The idea that submission in some way is offensive or lessens my value to the man. I've come to a greater understanding of this scripture and this idea over the past few months. Submission is something that God shares with the Son and the Spirit and neither of them is the lesser. Of course you have to fully believe in the TRINITY to understand this idea of submission. I'm going to save the discussion on Submission for another day. I want to focus more on the lie the world and older women of this country are teaching the younger women about taking care of the home. How can someone take care of their home when they spend countless hours working and striving to meet goals outside of the home. I suppose this leaves room for defining what "taking care of the home" means. It has many appearances in our world today. I would say for me it means you are hands-on with your home. Not someone who lives there, sleeps there, eats there but truly cares for all the aspects of your home including your husband and children.
God uses the term GOOD in referring to the older women teaching the younger women these things. He says to be self-controlled and pure. He would not encourage women to be those things if He did not think their was reason. We, in our human nature, can quickly be out of control and lack purity. Young women are easily misled to believe that their value comes in other, instantly gratifying forms. What an unfortunate situation we are in with our older women and our younger women. What will happen to this next generation of young girls?
It is hard to encourage someone to heed God's word when his WORD is so steadfastly black and white. It seems that if you take a stand on something such as this you are instantly deemed as JUDGEMENTAL or EXCLUSIVE in a world that so enthusiastically pushes for the idea INDIVIDUALISTIC. Anything goes. What fits you is good. What fits another is great. Noone can tell you what is RIGHT. You make your own path. I often want to speak sarcastically or with emphasis that relates that I'm right and they are wrong. But I know this is not God's way. I have realized that scripture is black and white and in order for people to be receptive to that they must first see Jesus in me. A writer for "At the Well" put it this way:
A better plan is to really believe what we believe, share it freely, and then lovingly give each other space to follow God as best we know how. We are not the ones other people have to please. They only need to please God, and He will reveal the things He wants each of us to know in His own timing.
I also want to find a way to implore to people how wonderful children are. To view them as a "heritage from the Lord". As I learn what it means to be a good wife that loves my husband and submits to him, I know I feel passionate about loving children. I feel like I understand this part of being a Titus 2 woman better at this point. I'm committed to growth in my relationship with Justin and committed to growth in my mothering of my children. I can only reflect on what God says about children. I found this little passage where a women was commenting on her decision not to use birth control. In this piece Jesus is speaking...
“Children are a gift from Me…well, for the next 6,000 years or so. But after that, you brilliant people will come up with a way to stop them from coming. The easiest way will be with a pill that often causes mood disorders, weight gain, nausea, abdominal pain, cancer and sometimes even abortion. But don’t worry about those, this is my will for you, I just forgot to mention it when the Bible was written. And when people make rude comments about your sex lives (which I created), you should be ashamed. I mean, anyone with a brain should be on birth control.” --Generation Cedar
I'm not saying yet whether I'm finished having children, I've recently felt compelled to have more. I need to be in prayer about that. But I do know that for the 4 we already have what a gift they are to us and how blessed we are to have them. I want to always see them as a HERITAGE and share that with others.
“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” Col. 4:6 ESV
