Showing posts with label Obedience. Show all posts

Waging the War with Words

The summer has flown by and we had lots of blessings come our way including vacations and time with family, abundant blessings with a new baby on the way (we are covering with prayer in hopes to avoid another miscarriage) and summer swimming, gymnastics and much more.

Whew...this past summer was crazy and wonderful and thank goodness for cameras that catch all the moments so we can remember them forever! Through the summer activities I've also had an opportunity to begin mentoring with a wonderful spiritual leader that God brought into our lives through swimming. She's challenging me in many ways and through a more consistent time spent with the Lord, because that has suffered in these past six months, I'm learning so many things.

I primarily feel the Lord teaching me more about His spirit. Some of the things I began learning 9 years ago about His spirit, spiritual warfare, spiritual and physical health, and sanctification are coming up again a if to be renewed in my heart and my mind only to allow me then to share with my family, children, and friends in the right time and way. I see a spiritual warfare going on with my oldest son. This has been shown to me recently through God's faithfulness and I'm taking the steps to try to fight the battle on his behalf while teaching him to do so also. But, being young still, I must fight as his advocate at this time, waging war against the pull between God and Evil.

I've learned much about the power of prayer and come to realize that although I've attempted to be a prayer warrior for my family, I have failed at the same time. The goal is to create new habits. Long ago I posted about prayers I wrote for the kids and my husband as well as daily/weekly prayers for them to cover them in His word. those prayers come to my phone each morning and sometimes I carelessly delete them with the rest of the junk. This is confession time. Instead my hope is to open them, pray them before ever leaving my bed, and cover my family in prayer as I've hoped to do all along. Oh how easily we get distracted from what matters the most.

In addition to this, my husband and I have chosen a saint and servant in the bible that we hope to represent our children and researched character qualities for each of them. I then took those qualities and put them into a prayer for them as well. I'm still in the process of finishing this project but once I'm done I plan to create a printable, print and hang in their rooms for them to read for themselves as well each day. To give them clear direction as to who they are in Christ. It's been a great path of research for me and for contemplating who God has called them to be in life.

I say all this as a way of a simple confession for my failures but my hopes for the days to come. To hold myself accountable for the role I play as a mother and wife and the supreme responsibility to wage war for my family against spiritual warfare, using the only real weapon, God's word. I hope you might be encouraged too

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Bad Mom and Repentance

From At the Well:

“I am such a bad mom!”

As it has happened before–more times than I care to mention–I retreat from the chaos, hollering, and fighting into my bedroom, to give myself a time out.

“Father, I need your help. I’m not doing a very good job at this!” I am irritated and impatient. Quick to anger, abounding in selfishness, and not at all clothed with compassion or gentle understanding. I desperately want to be a good mom. Really, I do! I only have one problem. Sin.

I remember reading a book, before my husband and I had any children of our own, that claimed to be about how to raise kids to love Jesus. In the opening chapter of the book, the author made it clear that I had better deal with all of my problem areas, shortcomings, and sins before I ever considered having kids. If I didn’t, there was no way my children would follow God. I, the inveterate perfectionist that I am, panicked. If that was the case, there was no way that I could ever be a mom.

God, in His providence, helped me to put that book down. I never did finish reading it. I think many Christian moms cripple ourselves with perfectionism. We weigh ourselves down with a heavy burden, as though our children were saved by our works of righteousness.

How foolish we are to think this way! Lord, help us! The truth of the matter is that I am a bad mom. You are a bad mom. We’re all bad moms. The only solution to our problem is the Gospel.

“It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.” 1 Timothy 1:15 (NASB)

And so we repent and believe. And repent. And believe. And repent and believe.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 (ESV)

I confess my sins before Him. My totally desperate state, completely incapable of being a good mom on my own.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (ESV)

“I thank you, Father, that I don’t need to mother these children you have given me by my own strength. Help me to mother them by your grace.”

“Children, I’m really sorry for losing my temper just a few minutes ago. It was wrong of me to yell at you all like that. Will you forgive me?”

My little ones look up with me, with a sweet trust in their wide, precious eyes that I know I don’t deserve.

“Yes, Mom, we forgive you.”

They throw their arms around me, like the prodigal mom come home, and I choke back the tears. No, my children do not have a perfect mom. What they have is a redeemed mom. A mom who needs the Savior just as much as they do.

More on Obedience and Children

Shaping influences of our modern society upon the family

Here are a number of false concepts that the modern society has produced. Each goes counter to what God’s Word teaches here in Ephesians 6:1-4. Later on, each wrong concept will be revealed as we dangle it before the truth of God’s Word here.

My main responsibility as a parent is to give my children the best education possible.
Children know what they should do. I do not need to interfere with their lives.
I can’t understand my children so I don’t get involved.
Physical discipline is unfair and can be abusive. I don’t use it.
Parents and children should be able to make the best decisions together.
Parents have a right to get real angry at how their child disregards their wishes.
Children need to learn independence early in life. We need to give them that freedom.
If you make children do what they don’t want, they will be emotionally scarred.
I like to give my child his own choice so I don’t tell him what he should believe.
We know what he watches is not best, but what can we do about it?
That is the way children are nowadays. (sigh).

We have one chance, parents. We need to hold up God’s commands even if it goes counter to what you believe or think is best. God knows better. If you do well, then your children will live godly lives, be blessed and be enabled to help others in this valuable process. If you refuse, for love of wealth or lack of belief, then you and your children will suffer. God’s promise remains with us.

Remarks about the above statements:

So let’s look through at the mistaken notions mentioned above and state why they are wrong based on what we have today studied in God’s Word.

False: My main responsibility as a parent is to give my children the best education possible.

True: The apostle says nothing about education except that they should be trained in God’s ways. If the parent fails here, it will have eternal impact both on the parents as well as the children. Education falls into a distant second place here. We will probably not even be asked what university we graduated from in heaven. Have we instructed our children in the way of the Lord?

False: Children know what they should do. I do not need to interfere with their lives.

True: Children are born sinners. They need to be instructed to obey and need their lives to be shaped by outward constraint and instruction in the word of life.
I can’t understand my children so I don’t get involved.

False: It is the duty of parents to be closely involved in the child’s life so that these children obey them.

True: How can we teach them if we do not know them? How can we live together and not know them? If we do not understand them, we will provoke them to anger. Know them so that you can instruct them in the Lord’s ways.

False: Physical discipline is unfair and can be abusive. I don’t use it.

True: One aspect of training is discipline which includes chastisement. It is used at strategic times to help the children learn how to avoid doing wrong things and prepare them to embrace instruction. Fathers are commanded to discipline them as needed in order to accomplish a greater and glorious goal.

False: Parents and children should be able to make the best decisions together.

True: Children are to obey their parents. They are not to make independent decisions that in any way counter their parents’ decisions. There are many decisions where voting does not work and therefore ‘voting’ should not be used. Parents are the authority.

False: Parents have a right to get real angry at how their child disregards their wishes.

True: Fathers often exasperate their children when they burst out in anger. This shows that the parent is not really seeking the well-being of the child but is self-seeking and seeking to solve his own irritation. If a father sees his children as constantly misbehaving, he should look and see if he is neglecting what is here instructed.

False: Children need to learn independence early in life. We need to give them that freedom.

True: It is critical that children learn to obey their parents, not to make decisions independent from their parents. This is the opposite to wisdom. True freedom accompanies responsibility. As children show obedience, then they can gain more freedom.

False: If you make children do what they don’t want, they will be emotionally scarred.

True: Emotionally scarring might come from a father who provokes the child to anger. This is completely different than how a father through correction, positive training and instruction in the Lord shapes the child in a way that they can do well in their lives.

False: I like to give my child his own choice so I don’t tell him what he should believe.

True: We must instruct our children in the way of the Lord. Why would we not memorize God’s Word and plant it deep in their hearts? If we are corrupted with a modern mentality, we might neglect to give our children one of the greatest assets that we have as Christian parents. We want them make wise decisions, not to follow the world into hell. We want them to love the ways of the Lord, not to have a liking for what God considers as evil and wrong.

False: We know what our child watches is not best, but what can we do about it?

True: We shape the child’s experiences so that God’s truth and love are lived out to them. We protect them from the norms of the society which are a mass of advertisements to love and die with the world. We train them. We have great goals of righteousness, godly fear and a heart of love as a goal for our children.

False: That is the way children are nowadays. (sigh)

True: Children are the way they are not because of our complex urban society, but because we have not abided by the commands that Paul the Apostle has set for us. We need to start thinking what kind of children we want and so train them. Hold back other things so that you can make time for what is good and lovely. For example, why not have your child make something with you for another sick person rather than just having him or her play computer games or involve themselves in Instant Messaging (IM).

Summary

The disease of modernism has entered the church. Paul shows how we can clean it out of our parenting perspectives. We are wise if we do it. Children, don’t believe that the world’s ways is better. The apostle has set before you the great way to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Learn by faith to trust God’s judgment here and you like David will be highly favored by God. I wish for each of you to prize God’s commands and find that they are swords for battling the evil one so that we can live out the ways of our gracious Lord. Few people have delighted in obedience as Jesus. The world needs more of them. Be one.

Taken from Foundations for Freedom.

21 Days of Prayer-Day One

Obedience

As we pray for our sons to have obedient hearts today, let’s examine our own, and ask our Savior to help us live out His great love for us so that our sons will see how truly valuable it is.

Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him.” ~John 14:21

Lord, please soften my son's heart and place the desire within him to obey his parents in the Lord, for this is right. Help him to honor his father and mother, that it may go well with him and that he might live long in the land. And help me to embrace a lifestyle of obedience, so that my life might be an example to him. Give me a new vision for teaching and training my son in obedience. Amen

Today's Obedience Prayers:
For more of the Obedience Prayers please purchase the Warrior Prayers ebook here.

*Whether it is favorable or unfavorable, may my child (by name) obey the Lord our God...so that it will go well with him (Jeremiah 42:6).

*May my child obey his parents in the Lord, for this is right (Ephesians 6:1).

*May my child obey his leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over his soul, as those who will have to give an account. Let my child do this with joy and not with groaning (Hebrews 13:17).

*My my child return to the Lord His God, and obey with all his heart and all his soul and all the commands God has given (Deuteronomy 30:2).

The teaching of obedience provides one of the most glorious opportunities to prove the Gospel message to our sons. If our boys never learn the importance of obeying and the inability to obey by themselves, how will they ever recognize their need for a Savior?

Ephesians 6 provides great encouragement as to the necessity of Obedience.

Brooke provides a great quote:
"If your man cannot submit to Jesus, he cannot lead you. A man must be willing to be led before he can truly lead." (Tommy Nelson, Love and Romance Conference)

I'm excited, although the path is sometimes rough and Satan seeks to destroy, to hold fast to prayer over my boys and teach them obedience God's way.

Here are some neat questions to ponder while thinking about Obedience God's way.

Bible Study Questions

See the article on Ephesians 6:1-4 for answers.

Who are children told to obey?
What does obey mean?
How should a child respond to his parents command if he doesn’t feel like obeying his parents?
What makes a child’s obedience so important - “this is right?”
How does ‘honor’ different from ‘obey’?
How old should a person obey and honor his parents? What principles apply here?
What is the promise that is associated with the command here (Ephesians 6:2-3)?
How does obedience relate to having a good life and living long?
What are the three things fathers are told to do in Ephesians 6:4?
What does it mean not to ‘provoke your children to anger?’ How does it happen. Share an incident from your life if possible you provoked or were provoked.
Why might he address the fathers here in Ephesians 6:4 and not the mothers?
What does the word ‘discipline’ mean in Ephesians 6:4? Why does the world reject this aspect of discipline when training?
What kind of instruction is mentioned here? How can parents implement this? Again, share from your experiences.