More on Obedience and Children

Shaping influences of our modern society upon the family

Here are a number of false concepts that the modern society has produced. Each goes counter to what God’s Word teaches here in Ephesians 6:1-4. Later on, each wrong concept will be revealed as we dangle it before the truth of God’s Word here.

My main responsibility as a parent is to give my children the best education possible.
Children know what they should do. I do not need to interfere with their lives.
I can’t understand my children so I don’t get involved.
Physical discipline is unfair and can be abusive. I don’t use it.
Parents and children should be able to make the best decisions together.
Parents have a right to get real angry at how their child disregards their wishes.
Children need to learn independence early in life. We need to give them that freedom.
If you make children do what they don’t want, they will be emotionally scarred.
I like to give my child his own choice so I don’t tell him what he should believe.
We know what he watches is not best, but what can we do about it?
That is the way children are nowadays. (sigh).

We have one chance, parents. We need to hold up God’s commands even if it goes counter to what you believe or think is best. God knows better. If you do well, then your children will live godly lives, be blessed and be enabled to help others in this valuable process. If you refuse, for love of wealth or lack of belief, then you and your children will suffer. God’s promise remains with us.

Remarks about the above statements:

So let’s look through at the mistaken notions mentioned above and state why they are wrong based on what we have today studied in God’s Word.

False: My main responsibility as a parent is to give my children the best education possible.

True: The apostle says nothing about education except that they should be trained in God’s ways. If the parent fails here, it will have eternal impact both on the parents as well as the children. Education falls into a distant second place here. We will probably not even be asked what university we graduated from in heaven. Have we instructed our children in the way of the Lord?

False: Children know what they should do. I do not need to interfere with their lives.

True: Children are born sinners. They need to be instructed to obey and need their lives to be shaped by outward constraint and instruction in the word of life.
I can’t understand my children so I don’t get involved.

False: It is the duty of parents to be closely involved in the child’s life so that these children obey them.

True: How can we teach them if we do not know them? How can we live together and not know them? If we do not understand them, we will provoke them to anger. Know them so that you can instruct them in the Lord’s ways.

False: Physical discipline is unfair and can be abusive. I don’t use it.

True: One aspect of training is discipline which includes chastisement. It is used at strategic times to help the children learn how to avoid doing wrong things and prepare them to embrace instruction. Fathers are commanded to discipline them as needed in order to accomplish a greater and glorious goal.

False: Parents and children should be able to make the best decisions together.

True: Children are to obey their parents. They are not to make independent decisions that in any way counter their parents’ decisions. There are many decisions where voting does not work and therefore ‘voting’ should not be used. Parents are the authority.

False: Parents have a right to get real angry at how their child disregards their wishes.

True: Fathers often exasperate their children when they burst out in anger. This shows that the parent is not really seeking the well-being of the child but is self-seeking and seeking to solve his own irritation. If a father sees his children as constantly misbehaving, he should look and see if he is neglecting what is here instructed.

False: Children need to learn independence early in life. We need to give them that freedom.

True: It is critical that children learn to obey their parents, not to make decisions independent from their parents. This is the opposite to wisdom. True freedom accompanies responsibility. As children show obedience, then they can gain more freedom.

False: If you make children do what they don’t want, they will be emotionally scarred.

True: Emotionally scarring might come from a father who provokes the child to anger. This is completely different than how a father through correction, positive training and instruction in the Lord shapes the child in a way that they can do well in their lives.

False: I like to give my child his own choice so I don’t tell him what he should believe.

True: We must instruct our children in the way of the Lord. Why would we not memorize God’s Word and plant it deep in their hearts? If we are corrupted with a modern mentality, we might neglect to give our children one of the greatest assets that we have as Christian parents. We want them make wise decisions, not to follow the world into hell. We want them to love the ways of the Lord, not to have a liking for what God considers as evil and wrong.

False: We know what our child watches is not best, but what can we do about it?

True: We shape the child’s experiences so that God’s truth and love are lived out to them. We protect them from the norms of the society which are a mass of advertisements to love and die with the world. We train them. We have great goals of righteousness, godly fear and a heart of love as a goal for our children.

False: That is the way children are nowadays. (sigh)

True: Children are the way they are not because of our complex urban society, but because we have not abided by the commands that Paul the Apostle has set for us. We need to start thinking what kind of children we want and so train them. Hold back other things so that you can make time for what is good and lovely. For example, why not have your child make something with you for another sick person rather than just having him or her play computer games or involve themselves in Instant Messaging (IM).

Summary

The disease of modernism has entered the church. Paul shows how we can clean it out of our parenting perspectives. We are wise if we do it. Children, don’t believe that the world’s ways is better. The apostle has set before you the great way to be filled with the Holy Spirit. Learn by faith to trust God’s judgment here and you like David will be highly favored by God. I wish for each of you to prize God’s commands and find that they are swords for battling the evil one so that we can live out the ways of our gracious Lord. Few people have delighted in obedience as Jesus. The world needs more of them. Be one.

Taken from Foundations for Freedom.