The summer has flown by and we had lots of blessings come our way including vacations and time with family, abundant blessings with a new baby on the way (we are covering with prayer in hopes to avoid another miscarriage) and summer swimming, gymnastics and much more.
Whew...this past summer was crazy and wonderful and thank goodness for cameras that catch all the moments so we can remember them forever!
Through the summer activities I've also had an opportunity to begin mentoring with a wonderful spiritual leader that God brought into our lives through swimming. She's challenging me in many ways and through a more consistent time spent with the Lord, because that has suffered in these past six months, I'm learning so many things.
I primarily feel the Lord teaching me more about His spirit. Some of the things I began learning 9 years ago about His spirit, spiritual warfare, spiritual and physical health, and sanctification are coming up again a if to be renewed in my heart and my mind only to allow me then to share with my family, children, and friends in the right time and way.
I see a spiritual warfare going on with my oldest son. This has been shown to me recently through God's faithfulness and I'm taking the steps to try to fight the battle on his behalf while teaching him to do so also. But, being young still, I must fight as his advocate at this time, waging war against the pull between God and Evil.
I've learned much about the power of prayer and come to realize that although I've attempted to be a prayer warrior for my family, I have failed at the same time. The goal is to create new habits. Long ago I posted about prayers I wrote for the kids and my husband as well as daily/weekly prayers for them to cover them in His word. those prayers come to my phone each morning and sometimes I carelessly delete them with the rest of the junk. This is confession time.
Instead my hope is to open them, pray them before ever leaving my bed, and cover my family in prayer as I've hoped to do all along. Oh how easily we get distracted from what matters the most.
In addition to this, my husband and I have chosen a saint and servant in the bible that we hope to represent our children and researched character qualities for each of them. I then took those qualities and put them into a prayer for them as well.
I'm still in the process of finishing this project but once I'm done I plan to create a printable, print and hang in their rooms for them to read for themselves as well each day. To give them clear direction as to who they are in Christ.
It's been a great path of research for me and for contemplating who God has called them to be in life.
I say all this as a way of a simple confession for my failures but my hopes for the days to come. To hold myself accountable for the role I play as a mother and wife and the supreme responsibility to wage war for my family against spiritual warfare, using the only real weapon, God's word.
I hope you might be encouraged too
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Waging the War with Words
Growing Forward
Well, even though April was somewhat sad there has still been an awesome amount of JOY and I can see God growing us through the loss and the pleasure of raising 5 wonderful arrows.
The Deceiver and Distractions
He, the deceiver, is good at bringing moments of distraction into our daily lives which tend to linger too long and pause on the way out with a final whispering word as to keep your eyes turned away from what truly matters.
Our lives are busy...maybe not always on the go and often we find ourselves at home, but the moments are moving, often fleeting, always in motion towards the next bridge, path, fork in the road. We often forget to pause, breathe and take it all in.
God allows the motion to come in and sharpen us, refine our fight and our will in the war. But, then the deceiver whispers again...distractions...the turning of the head for even just a moment can cause our motion, our natural motion to shift just slightly off course.
We must hear the Father's call to find our course. We must breathe...find the rhythm of the Master, the motion of the Son.
It's a minor shift off track but is rocks the very center of the motion God allows to come in and sharpen us.
To see the moments, the minutes, the trials, the sharpening as anything less than controlled and held by the Father we would be believing a lie...yet another distraction.
I so often hear myself echoing back after instructing the children or reproaching them for inappropriate actions and I realize...I did not allow the Father to refine me in the moment. I allowed the moment to distract me from the opportunity...
How can I breathe and let the moments refine me?
Willingly I experience refining after the fact but in the moment I often fail to fight and seek God's will in the war.
I'm regretful for those moments not handled so well, the ones where I overreacted, acted impatiently all while asking them to show patience and grace. Lord, help them to be blind to my hypocrisy...its unintentional and often repented for as I walk this path as a mother.
I've run out of redo's. Cole is turning 7 this summer, he'll begin to remember how I react, how I talk, how I make him feel. Any grace period that exists although most likely just a ghost, has begun to end.
I MUST find the strength to push out the distractions, CALL forth the will to wage the war, to be refined, to take a breathe in all moments and speak only words that matter.
God, bring the refining moments and help me to move with the motion that is filled with you. To find YOU in all things...the chance to show you, serve you, reflect you and most importantly fill myself with you so it will pour out as the natural motion of our lives takes place.
There is no space to allow distraction to settle, although it often comes, when the space is filled with YOU.
Things to Remember When Times Seem Tough
"Much of what God allows in your life is not for you to simply accept, but to get you to rise up! God wants you to know how to wield the weapons of warfare, how to take a stand, and how to fight." -Captivating
"For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope." -Romans 15:4
"God's version of flowers and chocolates and candlelight dinners comes in the form of sunsets and falling stars, moonlight on lakes and cricket symphonies; warm wind, swaying trees, lush gardens, and fierce devotion.....He knows what takes your breath away, knows what makes your heart beat faster. We have missed many of His notes simply because we shut our hearts down in order to endure the pain of life. Now, in our healing journey as women, we must open our hearts again, and keep them open. Not foolishly, not to anyone and anything. But yes, we must choose to open our hearts again so that we might hear His whispers, receive His kisses." (Captivating)
Now, Jesus said, don't you think God cares just a little bit more for you than the birds of the air? "Are you not much more valuable than they?"(Matt. 6:26). Indeed, you are. You, dear heart, are the crown of creation, His glorious image bearer. And He will do everything it takes to rescue you and set your heart free. (Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge)
Don't be decieved. "Satan is the one keeping you in bondage. He is the one who has done these things in order to prevent your restoration. He fears who you are; what you might become." Don't believe the lies...believe the Truth.
Filling Their Souls
A wonderfully encouraging post from Preparing the Soil. It is the song of my heart...I just need to remember to sing it!
Before I had kids, I remember having a conversation with a young mom. It was one of those conversations that sunk straight into my soul and I knew that for some reason, I was to remember it. This mom and I were talking about her young children who were about three and four at the time. She mentioned that they loved to play and wrestle and that her husband often did that with the kids. I asked her if she did as well (fully assuming that she did), and she said something that I will never forget. She said, “Oh no, that isn’t really my thing.”
I have thought about that conversation many times in my last nine years of parenting. You see, sometimes we just need to do things because it will build into the hearts of our children. Sometimes we need to do an activity because it will fill a soul. Sometimes we need to do things because it makes our children smile and giggle and it will build the invisible bonds of the parent-child relationship.
This all came to mind as I put the boys to bed tonight.
I love my boys. I never, ever wanted to be a mom to boys and in all honesty, it took me about two years to come to terms with the fact that I had a son. Now, I can’t imagine life without them. I adore their energy and enthusiasm and zest for life. I love their fascination with sports and legos and flexing their muscles. I love to watch them “just be boys” and I am thrilled to be a part of raising them. But being a mom to boys doesn’t come naturally to me.
I am not a rough-and-tumble, loud, high-energy person. My idea of a perfect day involves a lot of quiet, a lot of books, and a lot of sipping hot drinks. I was never a real “girly-girl” and yet male humor and activities have never really gotten me excited, either. However, I want to have the heart of my boys. I want to have cords of connectedness so strong that nothing can break them. I want their hearts to be in tune with mine and I want to be someone they long to be with. And that means doing things that don’t necessarily come naturally and doing things that “aren’t really my thing.”
As I tucked the boys into bed tonight, I had to “find” one who was hiding in his brother’s bed, I “captured” one as he struggled to get free, I was tackled, I growled like a tiger, I pretended to cry when they said—in fits of giggles—that they didn’t love me, I knocked them on the head, I smothered them with kisses, and I filled their little boy-souls with rough and tumble love and laughter. And I didn’t do it because it is “my thing.” I did it because it fills their heart and I hope that hundreds upon hundreds of these little memories will merge into one big memory that will allow them to say, “I had a happy childhood.”
Sometimes being a parent involves us stepping our of personality, out of our comfort places, out of what’s easy and into a place where our actions can really communicate with our children’s hearts. We have to be willing to let go of our desires and our natural inclinations and instead meet our kids where they are. Tonight, it was being silly with rowdy boys. This morning it was with an almost-nine-year old who hates math and was in tears clinging to me saying, “I just want to be with you!” This afternoon it was playing pig on the basketball court and praying I would make it so one of the boys wouldn’t be out again. No doubt tomorrow it will be with a certain three-year-old who will bring be an infinitely high stack of books I have read too many times. Saying yes doesn’t always come easily or naturally, but I pray each day that God will enable me to do what is best for the five little hearts I am responsible for.
Please Lord, let me say yes and do whatever it takes to hold onto their hearts, even if it “isn’t my thing.”
Motherhood is a Calling
I wanted to share this lovely article written on Desiring God by Rachel Jankovic. It's wonderful and the beating of my heart...is it your heart? If you are a mother, it should sink deep into your soul.
Motherhood Is a Calling (And Where Your Children Rank)
by Rachel Jankovic | July 14, 2011
A few years ago, when I just had four children and when the oldest was still three, I loaded them all up to go on a walk. After the final sippy cup had found a place and we were ready to go, my two-year-old turned to me and said, “Wow! You have your hands full!”
She could have just as well said, “Don’t you know what causes that?” or “Are they all yours?!”
Everywhere you go, people want to talk about your children. Why you shouldn’t have had them, how you could have prevented them, and why they would never do what you have done. They want to make sure you know that you won’t be smiling anymore when they are teenagers. All this at the grocery store, in line, while your children listen.
A Rock-Bottom Job?
The truth is that years ago, before this generation of mothers was even born, our society decided where children rank in the list of important things. When abortion was legalized, we wrote it into law.
Children rank way below college. Below world travel for sure. Below the ability to go out at night at your leisure. Below honing your body at the gym. Below any job you may have or hope to get. In fact, children rate below your desire to sit around and pick your toes, if that is what you want to do. Below everything. Children are the last thing you should ever spend your time doing.
If you grew up in this culture, it is very hard to get a biblical perspective on motherhood, to think like a free Christian woman about your life, your children. How much have we listened to partial truths and half lies? Do we believe that we want children because there is some biological urge, or the phantom “baby itch”? Are we really in this because of cute little clothes and photo opportunities? Is motherhood a rock-bottom job for those who can’t do more, or those who are satisfied with drudgery? If so, what were we thinking?
It's Not a Hobby
Motherhood is not a hobby, it is a calling. You do not collect children because you find them cuter than stamps. It is not something to do if you can squeeze the time in. It is what God gave you time for.
Christian mothers carry their children in hostile territory. When you are in public with them, you are standing with, and defending, the objects of cultural dislike. You are publicly testifying that you value what God values, and that you refuse to value what the world values. You stand with the defenseless and in front of the needy. You represent everything that our culture hates, because you represent laying down your life for another—and laying down your life for another represents the gospel.
Our culture is simply afraid of death. Laying down your own life, in any way, is terrifying. Strangely, it is that fear that drives the abortion industry: fear that your dreams will die, that your future will die, that your freedom will die—and trying to escape that death by running into the arms of death.
Run to the Cross
But a Christian should have a different paradigm. We should run to to the cross. To death. So lay down your hopes. Lay down your future. Lay down your petty annoyances. Lay down your desire to be recognized. Lay down your fussiness at your children. Lay down your perfectly clean house. Lay down your grievances about the life you are living. Lay down the imaginary life you could have had by yourself. Let it go.
Death to yourself is not the end of the story. We, of all people, ought to know what follows death. The Christian life is resurrection life, life that cannot be contained by death, the kind of life that is only possible when you have been to the cross and back.
The Bible is clear about the value of children. Jesus loved them, and we are commanded to love them, to bring them up in the nurture of the Lord. We are to imitate God and take pleasure in our children.
The Question Is How
The question here is not whether you are representing the gospel, it is how you are representing it. Have you given your life to your children resentfully? Do you tally every thing you do for them like a loan shark tallies debts? Or do you give them life the way God gave it to us—freely?
It isn’t enough to pretend. You might fool a few people. That person in line at the store might believe you when you plaster on a fake smile, but your children won’t. They know exactly where they stand with you. They know the things that you rate above them. They know everything you resent and hold against them. They know that you faked a cheerful answer to that lady, only to whisper threats or bark at them in the car.
Children know the difference between a mother who is saving face to a stranger and a mother who defends their life and their worth with her smile, her love, and her absolute loyalty.
Hands Full of Good Things
When my little girl told me, “Your hands are full!” I was so thankful that she already knew what my answer would be. It was the same one that I always gave: “Yes they are—full of good things!”
Live the gospel in the things that no one sees. Sacrifice for your children in places that only they will know about. Put their value ahead of yours. Grow them up in the clean air of gospel living. Your testimony to the gospel in the little details of your life is more valuable to them than you can imagine. If you tell them the gospel, but live to yourself, they will never believe it. Give your life for theirs every day, joyfully. Lay down pettiness. Lay down fussiness. Lay down resentment about the dishes, about the laundry, about how no one knows how hard you work.
Stop clinging to yourself and cling to the cross. There is more joy and more life and more laughter on the other side of death than you can possibly carry alone.
Tomato Staking
One of the best recommendations I've been given this year has come from a friend at church. We switched churches this year and began attending a Family Integrated Church near our house. It has been a wonderful experience for us as we decipher God's calling in our lives as parents of a large family and the unique challenges and abundant blessings that come from that calling.
A seasoned mother in our church told me about a book. "Raising Godly Tomatoes" is the name and tomato staking is the heart of the book. Not real tomatoes but rather our children.
The author has so many wonderful passages about children, raising them, loving them, schooling them, loving them...yes I said it twice on purpose. She points out that disciplining them, rather raising them in a disciplined, loving, consistent home is quite a gift.
The children are the tomatoes...she compares them to a real one. Tomatoes grow better when staked, held close to the stake to be supported, rooted, healthy, strong...
Children are similar. They need to be close, nearby, influenced, talked with, encouraged, struggle snuffed quickly, strife resolved swiftly, love spoken often...
Children need to be staked to the mother, or the father. They learn best that way. When staked to the parent they are given tasks, taught methods, trained, and spend time learning and watching the parent to learn how to be a woman or a man. It truly is a beautiful picture.
The hope is to stake when necessary, when we see strife or rough behavior, but also to focus on each of them at a specific time that we may be intentional with each of them independently as well as together. I'm sure it will take some learning, some time...But the hope is to nurture their growth, plant seeds of hope and love for Christ, mature them into arrows, that their direction will be clear and concise.
“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:7-9
Dear Mother, your little one’s hearts are gardens that need tending. Are you carefully cultivating the Word of God in their hearts, tilling with grace, watering with love, and warming with prayer? You can be sure that something will grow there. The question is, will it be the Word, or will it be weeds? --from At the Well
When December Comes Toooo Fast
What is left are just the faint remnants of October and November and a few snaps of the camera to catch the fleeting moments. It seems we were just starting the school year, traveling through Egypt, learning about Moses and Noah and contemplating our sinful hearts...
Through the finger paint, coloring, field trips, math lessons, soccer, Karate, gymnastics, and exploring the human body... the days turned to minutes and we suddenly find ourselves into the holiday season.
The sparkling bows, Christmas trees, flashing lights, and joyful music now fills the air...
Promptly I felt badly for not being prepared, ready, equipped with my usual advent activities and ready to implant into their hearts, yet again, the True meaning of Christmas...
But, it was beyond my control, I couldn't back up, slow down, and prepare to be ready, I had to accept the moment...where I was sitting right that second.
I heard God whisper to me, "slow....slow down....the meaning can be found in the quiet."
In years past in my attempts to stir their hearts, build traditions, and impart a passion for Christ, I've noticed their boyish neglect of my efforts. They hear the stories, appreciate the moments together, but could never, at this stage, truly know the depth of my efforts or the cry of my heart.
Their boyish neglect or playful disregard at times affects my spirit...my idol is reveled and my desire to be the "perfect" mother trumps my ability to let the boys foolishness role...
So, this year, with the same intentions to draw them deeper, show them the true Light of Christmas, and stir passion in their hearts, we will SLOW...
Slow to pray...25 days of prayer...simple scriptures to sink deep in their hearts. Simple prayers that follow the Jesse Tree but without all the bustle of the tree itself.
Slow to self...25 days of praying for others...lifting up holiday needs for the ones we love.
Slow to truly follow Jesus...25 days of discussing Christs attributes.
True the slowing doesn't call for glitter, glue, scissors, or fancy trees, but rather quiet hearts. The training of the hearts of my man children to find the meaning in the quiet.
I pray as the countdown begins today that I too might find the moments to be still...to slow down...and be quiet...
To see again the True meaning to Christmas.
Walk with Him Wednesday
How do I calm the storms through the day enough to sing the Praises of the Lord?
For this question I lack an answer, a true, real, honest answer.
The voices of man child the Father gave to me, the laughter and the tears, filled with frustration and also frenzied joy...the volume is so loud at times I cannot overcome it with Praise.
My heart quietly sings it to Him when the moments are soft, as they are now, with blonde heads lay on pillows and brown pigtails softly wrapping her neck while she breathes deep...
Thank you Lord....breathing in and out as the rhythm is natural, given by God, written in His holy name, YHWH...Thank you Father...thank you...
If I could only be a reflection of constant Thanksgiving for my children, not subdued by the temptation to be exhausted or to curse the hard work laid before me...
But, rather to breathe Thanksgiving in ALL things....all things...
Each moment of opportunity to teach my children, to train them up...
To refuse the temptation to find it inconvenient, tiresome, exasperating...
Oh selfish me...longing to make myself god-like rather than to serve the True God...
Those moments with my children should feel and come to me like Gifts from the Father, to be snatched up and given Victory in Jesus as we carve their hearts and their spirits for Him...
For the carving is often done without the words but with the look and the tone and the unintentional communication from my heart to theirs...
Rather I long to live with Thanksgiving in my heart and a joyful smile on my face, even in the harsh moments of teaching and carving, which happens often, moment by moment, that the knife would never dull but rather miraculously, through God's grace continue carving...
That the noise and the business of raising five children would only lift my spirit to sing His praise for the gifts He gave cannot be measured by mere words but a state of being, a place of rest within me that I live in the moment of Thankfulness...
That I might breathe Grace....
Mercy...
Grace...YHWH...
Thank you Jesus for the blonde hairs upon their heads, ten fingers and toes, hearts that long to please, opportunities to seize, help me not to fail...to take the moment by the hand and guide it...
Toward You...
Thank you Lord...
Breathe Grace...
Then they too will Breathe Grace...
They too will echo my look, my tone, my communication, without the words...
They too will one day Breathe Thanksgiving...
My faith runs deep in so many things...I trust, obey, listen, petition...
In the thing God has given to me to do most abundantly, most routinely, most importantly, I lack the faith...
The faith to give Thanks because it requires Trust, Reliance, Vulnerability...
Why do I avoid vulnerability so...
To breathe grace upon those small faces, the future men, and the small, precious woman, in my life, would require to be vulnerable...to share saddness, disapointment, to let anger go and embrace the emotion behind it all...
My faith has a come to a curious end in this moment where I refuse to raise them in the light of God's rejoicing for ALL things and His abundant Grace and Mercy...
Father create in me a clean heart...
From Anne today:
"Our thanks to God is our witness to the goodness of God when Satan and all the world would sneer at us to recant."
"When I only give thanks for some things, aren’t I likely to miss giving God glory in most things?"
"Doesn’t God call His people to a non-discriminating response in all circumstances? “[G]iv[e] thanks always and for everything” (Ephesians 5:20 ESV)."
Preparing them to Launch...
A great little article from At the Well:
So this tiny, helpless baby is placed in your arms. You know the wonderful, overwhelming feeling of being totally responsible for this immortal human being. It’s like God handing you a blank canvas.
Your job is to raise this child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. That’s no little job! I believe that a parent’s primary responsibility is discipleship. When I think of Jesus’ example as he walked with and taught his followers, pointing them always to the Father, revealing truth to them in the daily events of life, I can’t help think that we owe the same to our children. It’s intense, time-consuming and worth every second.
This prayer that Jesus prayed for His disciples is full of wisdom we can glean:
“I have revealed you to those whom you gave me out of the world. They were yours; you gave them to me and they have obeyed your word….For I gave them the words you gave me and they accepted them….While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe…I have given them your word and the world has hated them, for they are not of the world any more than I am of the world….My prayer is not that you take them out of the world but that you protect them from the evil one….Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth. As you sent me into the world, I have sent them into the world…” From John 16 & 17
But, the ultimate purpose is to grow them up. From the minute they are born, we are teaching them the next thing, helping them become more and more independent. From holding their own cup to getting dressed on their own then learning to cook or cut firewood, it’s a constant movement toward maturity. And we are to be growing them up spiritually all the same.
I want to carefully guide my children “in the way they should go,” but I want them to pick up from God’s Word and make it their own. I want them to obey as I lead them to God, but I want them to hunger for God themselves and desire the sweetness of His precepts.
I was talking to my brother about this and how I’m so grateful that the Lord is showing me how this works in my oldest daughter’s life. At 16, she now makes many decisions on her own, weighing them against the principles of truth. From her clothing to her choice of movies, books and music, if she were not able to discern these things for herself at her age, I would consider that we had possibly not done our job.
If our relationship is right, we will move from a position of establishing boundaries for our young ones, to one of sought-after counsel and guidance as they get older. But the ultimate goal is to raise children who, more and more, are able to discern, with the Spirit’s help, what God’s will is.
We’re raising men and women. We are passing the baton and handing down our legacy of faith. It’s easy for us to forget the goal. It’s easy to keep them in our “safe place” and just continue making their decisions for them. But that’s not why we’ve been given children. Arrows were meant to fly and leave our hands. Let’s be preparing them all the time for the launch.
Gates of Hell
From At the Well:
“I am much afraid that schools will prove to be the gates of hell unless they diligently labor in explaining the Holy Scriptures, engraving them in the hearts of youth. I advise no one to place their child where the Scriptures do not reign paramount. Every institution in which men are not increasingly occupied with the Word of God must become corrupt.” Martin Luther, A.D. 1537
Martin Luther’s quote is direct, yet honest and full of truth. Since Luther was a lover of the Word of God, His thoughts were likely based on how he viewed the Bible to be the beginning of all knowledge and how we, as humans, are nothing apart from God. Therefore, he determined that we need spiritual teaching above all other academic instruction. Do we need to throw aside reading, writing and arithmetic? Of course not. Since the foundation determines the stability of all else that is built above, we must look at what the groundwork of our children’s education is, as well as what it should be. Without diligent instruction about our Creator God; without a true understanding of what He desires for our lives, True wisdom and knowledge will never be attained.
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning [first-fruits; principle thing] of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.” Proverbs 1:7
What is the fear of God? The fear of God to the believer is completely different than the fear of God to an unbeliever. A Christian’s fear of God would be one of reverence and awe, rather than the unbeliever’s fear of a God that has the ability to cast their soul into hell.
Who are those who despise the wisdom and instruction? Proverbs 1:7 says that they are fools. When that verse is directly translated, it says that those who despise the Lord’s wisdom are “silly.”
So, those who do not desire the knowledge that God freely offers through His Word are silly. Do most parents want to send forth from their home silly young adults?
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning [commencement; opening] of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy is understanding.” Proverbs 9:10
We are told that the origination of true wisdom begins with a fear of God and that understanding comes from the knowledge of the Trinity (the Hebrew word for “Holy” is indicative of the trinity – God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit – three in one).
Through biblical instruction we teach our children how to fear and truly know the Lord and His desires for our lives. In doing so we are opening the doors to true wisdom and understanding. The Hebrew word for understanding in the above verse is ‘biyn’ and means: to be cunning, diligent, direct, discerning, eloquent, (to) inform, instruct, have intelligence, (to) know, look well to, perceive, be prudent, (can) skill (-fully) teach, think, (cause, make to, get, give, have) understanding, deal wisely). When you look at what one will gain from a fear and knowledge of God, what more would any parent long for in their child?
“In not mentioning God, my public school teachers preached a thundering message daily. By implication they taught that God is not relevant to most areas of life…with every lesson, in every class period, all day every day for 12 years I was being taught to think like an atheist in the academic realm and didn’t even know that I was being indoctrinated.” - Chris Schlect, Scriptural Worldview Thinking
Schools that have little or no emphasis on Biblical teachings and instruction are producing young adults who act only what they have retained from their years of academic instruction. Most times they only have access to what is immediately available to them in the recesses of their human minds.
On the other hand, young adults who were trained for their role in God’s Kingdom will possess an unspoken and spiritually-powerful wisdom from God. They will not only be able to rattle off their retained book knowledge, but they will also be able to think for themselves in light of Scripture. They will be able to apply Scriptural principles to daily life, as well as have access through the Holy Spirit to all they have ever studied in their scriptural instruction. John 14:26 speaks of how Jesus will send the Holy Spirit to not only teach us through God’s written Word, but also remind us of all we have learned. With that kind of understanding and access to the supernatural recollection of knowledge, what better education should be sought?
Do we want to raise children who blindly follow those who claim to have the answers to life’s problems, or do we want them to have an overflowing heavenly knowledge and discernment? Do we want them to be wise in the eyes of the world or do we want them to have the Wisdom of Solomon and to be considered well educated and wise in the eyes of God? Which is more valuable in the light of eternity? How will you instruct your children in the knowledge and understanding of God in light of these verses?
“The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.” Psalm 111:10
Hard Lessons
I am learning to appreciate the lessons God teaches me as I grow up...yes I am still growing up. I am the person that would resist admitting this, especially in those words. I simply have a desire to arrive...when do I arrive?
These gifts God has given to me reflect to me God's answer to that question. NEVER. As if through them God is quietly whispering to me....
The whisper of a coaxing, a calling to draw near, breath deep, seek me...I believe in you...hold tight...
He brings me to my knees to reveal to me my broken heart, my need for Him, that hope is never lost.
The lesson of this moment snuck in...settled softly...then in a quiet moment whispered to me...
"You need to LAUGH more, HOLD them longer, and bear down in LOVE to train them up."
My husband and I have been committed to training them up for some time now. That isn't just a phrase, it is a way of living. Intentional training of children...not just expecting but teaching, holding their hands, drawing hard lines, keeping them close, making expectations clear...
It is a constant, demanding, sometimes exhausting, but most rewarding job. We believe it is also the ONLY way to fulfill our calling as Parents in a biblical manner.
And, in the moments of training up children, boys and a young lady, to Love Jesus, Obey Authority, Love Others, Sacrifice Themselves, and show HONOR, VALORE and BRAVERY-- satan also tries to whisper..."It isn't fun", "Get Angry", "They aren't learning"...
His motives are clear...but they can be overcome. I must take a step back...gently but efficiently remind myself, through God's word and His lessons to express JOY because the calling is filled with JOY. Being a mother is a gift and a blessing. Always noted by God in His Word as a blessing He Gave to those He was rewarding. That moves me towards growing up...for them, for me, for Him.
God has given us much and in return much is required. Raising Warriors for Christ SHOULD be FUN, SERIOUS, JOYFUL, CHALLENGING, RIGOROUS, REWARDING, INTENTIONAL yet WONDERFUL all at the same time
This is only possible with God.
We once were listening to an audio series on parenting and the speaker said, "Often we find our dissapointments with our children are a result of our own personal selfishness."
They are CHILDREN and when they make a mess it offends our NEED for it to be clean.
---Children are just messy by nature and must be taught to be clean.
They are CHILDREN and when they spill it offends our NEED not to be bothered to clean it up
---Children are clumsy by nature and must mature over time.
They are CHILDREN and when they don't come when they are called it offends our PRETENSE of being a good parent.
---Children aren't given an innate ability to obey, they must be trained.
They are CHILDREN and when they display "wrong" behavior in public or perhaps hit another child, it embarrasses us so we lash out against them.
---Children can't grow from parents who LASH but rather flourish with parents who LOVINGLY train and discipline.
I myself need this priceless reminder...this is the growing up part. Self control, righteous anger, putting others first...Start responding like an adult, refrain and restrain your personal self centeredness, children can sniff it out, and approach being a mother with some grace and JOY.
The lesson to be learned as Mothers is clear although we convince ourselves it is often elusive...the application of it all... well, attempts should be made through prayer...
Perfection
It's quiet now and my thoughts are racing. It's been so many days, even months since I last posted here, in my quiet, personal space. It is not for lack of need or desire but seasons.
Seasons breathe the flow of our lives and each season brings new life, new calm, and new storms.
Swiftly moving memories flash by as I lead my sheep through the day; dressing, eating, playing, learning, growing, challenging, kneeling, whispering, shouting, struggling, loving, embracing...
The movements never end but the days are always numbered. Each moment serves as an opportunity to create a memory, to instill in them qualities of love, laughter, joy, thankfulness and Him...the Creator of it all. Each moment is teaching them something, guiding them towards something, sinking deep a characteristic in them. Each is an opportunity...what I do with it is up to me.
What I value inside the moment is clear to them. Do I value me, my habits, my desires, my demands? Or
Do I value them, their growth, their hearts, their relationship with me, their imperfections?
Why can't I remember to whisper more, snuggle more, kneel more, embrace more, laugh more, forgive loudly, and see even the imperfections of life as JOY?
All of life cannot be smiles and falsely perfect, but life must also be imperfectly perfect. These are words that I must write on my walls.
I've long known that my heart lives for perfectionism. Since I was young I can remember redoing and redoing things until they were "right".
I often put this trait on job applications as a strength. I thought the Lord had blessed me with a desire and the ability to do things with perfection.
Now, as a mother I see, this trait has a hold of me. It keeps from truly being free. It burdens my children, my husband...
Oh Lord, you gave me, blessed me, overwhelmed my life with Annointed BOYS...and 1 Sweet, AMAZING girl...life is Messy.
There are qualities of perfectionism which I find useful and positive. Orderliness, organization, execution of tasks, successfully doing "things". But, where is the grace? The Mercy?
From Ann Voskamp at aholyexperience.com (she happens to be my favorite and speaks words my heart sings):
read it again:
My hearts cries out to the Lord that these words would sink deep in me....
Flood my mind and my heart with reminders....
Sit long with the spills, the wet pants on a baby girl child, speak softly with the failure to sit still for schooling, and the constant distractions, draw near and find JOY in the imperfections of life.
I see how much they soak in my heart. Those babes my belly swelled with, the life God knit together inside my womb...they become ME.
Why God?
How can I possibly shed my sinful heart enough, breath the air of YHWH and sink His Joy into their lives?
I have my own struggles and hang ups, my own lacking patience, my nagging perfectionism...How Lord, how will I teach them to
Bad Mom and Repentance
From At the Well:
“I am such a bad mom!”
As it has happened before–more times than I care to mention–I retreat from the chaos, hollering, and fighting into my bedroom, to give myself a time out.
“Father, I need your help. I’m not doing a very good job at this!” I am irritated and impatient. Quick to anger, abounding in selfishness, and not at all clothed with compassion or gentle understanding. I desperately want to be a good mom. Really, I do! I only have one problem. Sin.
I remember reading a book, before my husband and I had any children of our own, that claimed to be about how to raise kids to love Jesus. In the opening chapter of the book, the author made it clear that I had better deal with all of my problem areas, shortcomings, and sins before I ever considered having kids. If I didn’t, there was no way my children would follow God. I, the inveterate perfectionist that I am, panicked. If that was the case, there was no way that I could ever be a mom.
God, in His providence, helped me to put that book down. I never did finish reading it. I think many Christian moms cripple ourselves with perfectionism. We weigh ourselves down with a heavy burden, as though our children were saved by our works of righteousness.
How foolish we are to think this way! Lord, help us! The truth of the matter is that I am a bad mom. You are a bad mom. We’re all bad moms. The only solution to our problem is the Gospel.
“It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all.” 1 Timothy 1:15 (NASB)
And so we repent and believe. And repent. And believe. And repent and believe.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 (ESV)
I confess my sins before Him. My totally desperate state, completely incapable of being a good mom on my own.
“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 (ESV)
“I thank you, Father, that I don’t need to mother these children you have given me by my own strength. Help me to mother them by your grace.”
“Children, I’m really sorry for losing my temper just a few minutes ago. It was wrong of me to yell at you all like that. Will you forgive me?”
My little ones look up with me, with a sweet trust in their wide, precious eyes that I know I don’t deserve.
“Yes, Mom, we forgive you.”
They throw their arms around me, like the prodigal mom come home, and I choke back the tears. No, my children do not have a perfect mom. What they have is a redeemed mom. A mom who needs the Savior just as much as they do.
Nourished Roots
The warriors are laying low, flashes of light flickering across the front room, sleeping bags laid out upon the floor and eyes heavy with a hard days work. Swimming can take a warrior and bring him to a vulnerable pause...boys and their endless energy finds its weakness in a day of swimming and sun.
The quiet begins to settle in here and I have a moment to meditate and think of all the ways the Father has blessed my life, even when the blessings sometimes feel heavy like burdens they are gifts and blessings none-the-less.
The roots of the children slowly spreading into the soil we live on here, increasing their strength and bringing them steadfast memories which draw up character.
The arrows in the quiver are a part of God's plan to hold firm the front line against the enemy. They are to be grown into men who can withstand the enemy and fight for the honor of their Lord, their Savior. The arrows have been placed into my quiver, by God, as gifts, always as gifts nothing less, and their path is mine to sow.
Prayers cover them from my heart, exhaustive work and dedicated love to raise them up into men. I cry out to my God for help, and not often enough, as the days mark endless opportunities to fine tune their character and call them unto Him. Their flesh fights me so...
I hear them giggling, I see their sweet little toes pressed firmly against the wall unit as they watch the flickering images across the screen. Their unique God given personalities fill our home and engrave memories upon the walls. They are precious. Full of hugs, kisses, sweet embraces, in need of correction and discipline in order to find the straight path, and me often asking for forgiveness as we tread the path together...
God has placed us here together...
Father lift them towards you, hold them close, right my wrongs and teach them your ways. Wrestle the flesh that it may subside and your Glory be found. Increase their wisdom. Sow seeds of faith and carry them when they are weak. I give them to you just as you gave them to me.
I pray the roots we plant grow deep, nourished by the King.
Homeschooling Mothers Arise
A wonderful article from At the Well speaking to the life of Homeschooling moms:
Homeschool mothers relate to the feelings that come from drudgery. The days are long and tedious. The success that comes of the toil sometimes goes unseen for months, maybe even years. Our lives seem downright plain and ordinary. Our work goes unnoticed. Our existence remains unobserved. Life can become commonplace. Where do we go from here? How can we keep going from day to day?
Oswald Chambers said, “Drudgery is one of the finest touchstones of character.” A touchstone is defined as “a hard black stone, such as jasper, formerly used to test the quality of gold or silver by comparing the streak left on the stone by one of these metals with that of a standard alloy.” A touchstone is a gauge, which is used to test the quality of a precious metal in comparison to a commonplace metal. During our times of drudgery, do we want to show our character as being that of pure gold or as a mixture of commonplace metals? I would much rather present myself to Jesus as gold–experiencing the ordinary–rather than being ordinary.
The truth is, our feelings of inadequacy overpower us when we fail to see God’s handiwork in the smallest details of our everyday lives. We wait for God to show us the extraordinary thing for which we have been laboring. We look for Him to guide us to our pinnacle of success so that we can give Him the glory. We should be giving Him the glory throughout the mundane tasks that are before us each day. It is when we are in the valley, between the pinnacles of success, we see where we have been and how far He has led us.
Jesus stepped down from His heavenly domain and meekly washed His disciple’s feet. In turn, let us walk the path of humility that He has placed before us. We are not so admirable that we deserve the praiseworthy work rather than what Jesus has given us to accomplish. His plan is perfect and we must accept the plan, no matter how ordinary that plan may seem. Seeing the exceptional within the ordinary makes the mundane extraordinary.
Arise, shine, for your light has come, and the Glory of the Lord rises upon you. – Isaiah 60:1
The glory of God is upon you on the mountain tops of success and in the valleys of the commonplace. Take your place, accept your calling, place your feet firmly on the path, look toward the goal, and arise and shine!
Inspiring Moments
Inspiring Moments...They come often, and quietly.
I turn and God gives inspiration in the moments that take my breath.
My children and the hope that glistens on the edges of their growing bodies as I see glimpses of goodness coming from my mothering and our parenting.
The sweet turns to sweat when I hear them love, laugh, obey, and live contently.
Inspiration, often like breathing, comes and goes with only whispers and when it comes God wisks you forward, keeps you going. He simply moves you when you feel unable to move.
It is the carrying He does when I need to train them, the movement towards the vacuum for the third time that day, the still, quiet moments you sit to read to them and they listen...
Inspiration appears with many feelings and wearing many faces and comes in various times and seasons.
Ann's words, a source of inspiration He often uses in my life as I hear her speak the words my heart sings...
As she, Ann, talks of her youngest daughter I think upon my oldest son, soon turning six and the world of infancy being stolen from him like a thief and manhood rising up inside my boy-child.
Although mine are not "near grown" I feel time wrestling me for them...his grip tight upon their bodies as they stretch and grow...
I hear true her words:
Be inspired....
Slow the pace....
Grow slowly and steadily...
Soak it in and sink it deep...
Treasures in Heaven
From At The Well:
There are dirty little plastic dishes in my sink.
There are piles of half-folded laundry in my living room, and crumbs in my carpet, and broken crayons under my table.
There are stuffed animals, and mismatched socks, and little girl barrettes, and board books under my bed.
Some people’s baker’s racks are neatly adorned with hand-painted tea cups. Mine is piled high with children’s pencil drawings and water color creations on construction paper.
My office is filled with books I’ve been meaning to read and books I’ve been meaning to sell and papers I need to file and papers I need to throw away.
It’s after bedtime, but my washing machine is still busily agitating, in hopes that I might have clean diapers in the morning.
At least the wooden train set made it into it’s box–no one likes that kind of middle-of-the-night surprise on the bottom of their bare foot.
Yes. My house is filled with stuff. Messes. Clutter. Dare I say, chaos. Some days, I get the best of it. Most days, it gets the best of me.
I’ve been thinking a lot about stuff lately…wondering just how easy it would be for us to condense all our earthly possessions into a small U-Haul trailer if the LORD told us to go somewhere else…and I’ve realized what a powerful grip stuff still has on me.
I think about how much time I spend cleaning stuff, rearranging stuff, tripping over stuff, looking for lost stuff, and buying more stuff. How much time my husband spends working to pay for stuff.
And yet, if the world were really to come to an end, and Jesus were to return tonight, there are really only five things around here that matter much…
…five” things” that I can take with me…
…my husband, and my four precious children.
“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Matthew 6:19-21
Christ may not return tonight, but He is coming.
“But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed.”
2 Peter 3:10
There is a far-worse middle-of-the-night surprise than stepping on wooden train pieces…
Am I living my life, each day, as though it were the very last day I had to teach my children to know, love, serve, and follow Him?
Am I?
Are you?
Matters of the Heart
Oh my have the last few days or even weeks maybe even months been a challenge.We are in a "crashing period" with the twins. I'll explain.
I was told by my mother long ago that children often ebb and flow in six month spurts between falling in line, being compliant and displaying obedience with joy. Then six months of pushing the limits, walking the fine line and teetering on the edge.
At the time she shared this with me I giggled. My first son was small, not old enough yet to exhibit such extremes. I was naive to the wonderful bliss and sweaty work of training and growing up boys into men (and 1 sweet girl).
Now, almost 6 years later, this ebb and flow is clear to me. They are like crashing waves and shifting tides.
Their ability to live at full blast each day brings challenges and joy. During the "crashing waves" period of time I find myself cycling through reminders, instructions, warnings, discipline, and a breath of air. I say, "when you are done with something put it back", "we don't leave Popsicle sticks on the carpet, you know where the trash is", "don't each boogers find a Kleenex", "please flush", "no need to scream in the house, you can play outside", "remember the baby is sleeping, don't slam the toilet lid down", "we are taking a nap today, just like yesterday", "please don't whine it doesn't change anything", "no we can't wear the same clothes for four days", "sorry your socks feel funny", "I don't know where your shoes are I didn't wear them last", "please get off the floor, just talk to me", "don't scream, don't scream, don't scream please!!!". I really could go on and on.
They seem to fight with each other more, struggle sharing, speaking kindly, finding compromise, and hearing any answer except what they want to hear. Their hearts are raw, their flesh loud, and in turn our lives seem crazy.
It is during this "crashing period" I must dive deep and keep my eye upon the training of their hearts. Reflecting grace, forgiveness, patience, love, all while setting a firm line and acting quickly to disrespect so as to not leave even a glimpse of opportunity for the devil set a foothold to their hearts.
I'm flawed in this process. I yell sometimes. I cry sometimes. Frustration runs deep and in the quiet of the evening exhaustion comes quick. Emotionally and physically I am drained. Spiritually it is a battleground. I must remember to tap into the All Powerful love of Jesus. I must remain steadfast in His will and love, it is what matters. I attempt to show my children His grace in my life. Ask for forgiveness of them in my shortcomings. Remember to put off self and put on love even when I am weak. I want to do better. I pray to grow with each cycle. It always comes on so quickly and leaves just as quickly before I can barely get my footing at times.
Then something happens and the tide shifts and my boys, although still loud, crazy and living at full throttle, are sweeter, softer, more compliant, less whiny, "yes mom", "okay mom", "mom, I want to be a soldier for God", "are you proud of me mom?", "I shared mom, see?". Their hearts are quieter and they are in a state of "new" composure.
It is in this "quiet cycle" I see glimpses of the hard work paying off. Their hearts are soaking up the lessons, putting on Jesus, and their spirits thirst for Him, being made in His nature, even when the "crashing cycle" seems so much louder. God is calling them. He is molding them. Even through my flawed and failed delivery at times. He is bigger than me.
Thank God!!!
I remember it is their heart that matters most. Not following all the rules, although that is nice and in most cases safer. The rules and expectations are in place for my own sanity as much as for their training. But, we cannot miss the heart. We must focus on the lessons of the heart...will they thirst for Christ? Do I even give God a chance to teach and call to them through my flawed life by talking about Him, walking with Him, and exhibiting Grace b/c of Him?
I am the lighthouse to this crazy, wild, crashing, sometimes calm, ocean. Even as the tides change the need for the lighthouse remains. It is not just a wild ocean that has need of a lighthouse but the ocean no matter its state. There are rocks ahead. There is danger. God has placed these children into my care, as the lighthouse, to bring them Home. He is the light.
What an awesome picture.
Lord, help me to be the mother you have called me to be to these precious children. That during both the crashing and quiet cycles I can reflect your light to their lives. That grace, forgiveness, love, and faithfulness would abide in our home. That the lighthouse you have created me to be would bring them safety and a place to call home. Help our home to be a compass that guides them to you.
Help me to be a good mother to boys. Help me to train up a lady in Brynn. Father....help.
Amen.
Excerpt from M.O.B. Society:
