Keeping our Heads Up

(posted from my personal blog)

I'm sitting here listening to Justin read to the children, get them ice cream, and prepare them for bed.  He's such an amazing dad.  This is all happening on the eve to another trip to Las Vegas, 1 of many many more until this project is over.  To think the kids will almost be one year older when this quiets down is crazy to me.  There are certainly times, I will not lie, that Justin being out of town makes me feel heavy and sometimes, when I really let my guard down, I cry.  It is such a strange thing. 

I would never want to be unappreciative that my husband has a job, a job he loves.  I would never want to be seen as someone who doesn't realize what a blessing that is.  I do, I do know it is a blessing, especially in these times, that my husband is employed with not much risk of being let go.  I am thankful he works hard, dedicates time towards doing his best so that we might benefit.  He is the only one providing for our family and that places a lot of pressure on his shoulders.  Each day or week or month however one would like to look at it, he is having to decide when to leave, how long to stay, when to return without putting his job or his family on the line. 

At the same time I know all the things I stated above it is hard to have him gone.  It is hard on me and the kids. I can tell after days of him being away from home they are on edge, a little whiny, sick of me I'm sure, and ready to rough and tumble with daddy.  It is such a statement to me as to why children (one of the many reasons why, certainly not the only) kids need both parents. We offer different elements to their lives.  We each bring, when together, a balanced amount of love, play, laughter, discipline and more.  My mother in law, after spending the last two weeks at our house again, mentioned how much the kids seem to settle when he gets home and we are back together again.

I won't go into the things that are challenging about having him work out of town these past months, and several times before this time, I'm sure one could attempt to imagine.   With five little ones running around (I'm well aware we chose to continue having them even with the chance he might work out of town. We don't find children to be a joy only when the circumstances are just right, but always and believe God is in control) it can become difficult to make dinner, get the laundry done, folded and put away, and get to the grocery store!  If you visit you might become familiar with the basket of laundry that makes its home in my bedroom. We are used to it and when it isn't there, in the rare case I've gotten it all done, I feel naked! :)  I'm teasing but it's pretty much always there.  Not to mention that I like to create things and blog to clear my head and sometimes chose to take a nap so I'm not Mean Mommy on day two of daddy being gone. I like to reserve that disposition for Day 3 so they really want him home. It makes him feel better when he arrives that they are so excited to see him!


Last week on my devotional blog I posted a Tuesday Program from Titus 2 At the Well to pray for my husband.  I so NEED to do this more.  I plan to do this again this week because I didn't quite do it as much as I'd like.  In fact I realized this needs to be one of my 3 NEW HABITS this year.


Monday: His Work
Tuesday: His Integrity
Wednesday: His Mind
Thursday: His Purpose
Friday: His Health
Saturday: His Protection
Sunday: His Faith


There is no question as to how much he means to us, to me. I know how much he gives to God, to work and to us.  I know how challenging this same situation is for him, sometimes more so. I also recognize I do not always treat him with the respect he deserves.  I'm so blessed he dedicates his life to his purpose.  Sometimes, well often, I wish it didn't take him away. We just MISS him. I feel like I'm always trying to squeeze things in while he's home because before we know it, he's gone again.  I trust the Lord. Pray He gives me strength when I need it, rest when I need it, patience when I need it, and a constancy of LOVE for Justin.  


P.S. I can only assume it is because he is a hard worker and his company appreciates him so much that Dina bought us a Kitchenaid Mixer to make my life baking and creating things for the kids, more natural foods, easier.  I cried. I was so touched.  Justin's sacrifices have meant our blessings.  For that I'm forever grateful.


This week I pray for my husband and my children!  Looking upward to keep going forward!