Words

From My Heart Out of Ann's Lips, Spoken Softly yet Moving Me to Make the Commitment

“When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger.“ Ephesians 4:29 (NCV)

"Stronger. Stronger.

I had looked around the table and into their eyes. Into them. I had held them in my one hand, them pinked and swaddled, and I had made them strong with the milk letting down and the love, and I had witnessed the stretching of the spine, the first tottering steps and I had squealed wonder and I had offered the hand. Mamas make strong.
When we had finished the Bible reading, we reach for hands to pray, I feel little fingers again and couldn’t I do this again?
Just for today:
 Couldn’t all the words out of my mouth only be the strengthening words? Words that nourish their bones and muscle their hearts.
 What if I tried to change nothing in children but I focused on only this: Only speak words that make souls stronger.
Like oxygen, couldn’t just speaking strengthening-words change the whole of the atmosphere

We breathe grace. This oxygen changes everything.

The tongue is the tail of the heart. And a lashing tongue is the symptom of an anger riddled heart. It’s always the heart that whips the tongue hard and breaks the backs weak.

And I thought then that I was finally getting it: If Grace always pulses the heart, and love’s the blood coursing tender through veins, the tail of the heart, that tongue, it caresses and it strokes and it revives the soul until small ones stand up David-tall before Goliaths.

That is the heart-made gift I could give my family this year. To only speak Words that make them stronger.

That under the tree I could give them the gift of words that make them tall and strong... trees of their own with roots deep down into the grace and love and heart of Christ.

Words. Could there be a greater gift to give in honor of the Word made flesh?"

I find my heart aching as I think about all those moments I have spoken to my babies (those souls who are a part of me, breathing their first breath from my womb, seeing God's design as I relate it to them) with harsh words, needless words, exasperated and tired tones that leave my mouth sometimes before I even realize it.

My heart longs to relate to them more how much I love them, to build them stronger as Ann wrote about above.  To build them up tall and strong before God and the world, that they might contribute to God's army.  

How do I do this while instructing, correcting, implementing discipline and teaching them the straight?  Can those two things go together?  Jesus perfected the breathing of love and building tall along with teaching, instructing and showing the way. To be like Jesus....Oh to be like Jesus.  Help me Jesus to be more like you, to speak words that build my children, express love and joy to them, that tell them how blessed I am to have them. 

I reiterate this word from Ann: "How can a mother be frustrated her child is not as she longs him to be, when she herself is not as she longs to be?"

Then I ponder the question that nags me, "Do I try to change them?  I had not considered it in that way because I know I love them so deeply it hurts. I believe I love them for exactly who I God made them to be. But, in my meditation of Ann's words I consider I may have mixed in the pot with teaching, instructing, disciplining and showing the straight and expecting who they are to change.

As I strive to draw out of them the raw and put into them good, from Him who shed His blood for them, I must find a way to speak words that build and grow making babies string.  And I must allow Jesus to do the same with me, draw out the raw and put in the good, the God made.  

That I might Speak words, whether in teaching, instructing, disciplining, building up or drawing out, WORDS THAT MAKE SOULS STRONGER.

Christmas Preparations

This year preparing for Christmas has been haunting me.  Thanksgiving came quickly this year and although I was thinking of Christmas I wasn't quite ready to begin the Advent celebration.  The burning of our fifth child's birth came quickly also, answering my cries to Christ that he, my boy child, come while our daddy was home rather than away.  


Ann Voskamp put out a great Jesse Tree collection this year that I was ready to print and start and had no paper or toner in either printer.  If you know me you know I don't like to get behind on things and I was irritated that I was unable to start on the Advent weekend.  I can't get behind because I fail to catch up. The days pass quickly with the warming of the sun on the grass then it fading into the West casting shadows on the backyard while their feet leave imprints in the grass, small yet growing prints.


How could I capture the Christmas spirit without all the "tools" in my arsenal to teach my little ones about Jesus and His glorious birth.  They are so small that often I wonder if their hearts even truly receive my spoken words but I know God's word does not return void and their gentle, quiet spirits breath Him in as they were designed to do and they somehow grow to know Him.  


Do I need tools?  Is the Jesse Tree the only way to show them Jesus this Christmas?  Can we discover Christ's love for us without the tree, the lights, the advent calendar, the cold as our weather has been exceptionally warm here?  I heard God faintly whisper, YES, I AM.


Through words; spoken, read, prayed, breathed, repeated, posted, and whispered to each other we can see Jesus amidst the Christmas doing.  

Dietrich Bonhoeffer stated, “The Christian needs another Christian who speaks God’s Word to him. He needs him again and again when he becomes uncertain and discouraged, for by himself he cannot help himself without belying the truth. He needs his brother as a bearer and proclaimer of the divine word of salvation.”

It is in the shadows oft his truth that we find, feel, see, touch, and experience Jesus this Christmas.  We remind each other of what Christmas is all about when we speak of the God child sent by God to be our hope and salvation.  My prayer becomes that my children experience these conversations concerning God's Word with us. That they explore God's unending grace, love, and divine plan through the teaching of words about Him.  

We've since put up the tree, the lights sparkling around our cross outside posted to the front of the house as a beacon of hope, our Christmas cards done and sent expressing God's Love for His people this year.  We've begun reading books about Jesus, talking and praying about Christmas, and seeking to find Him this holiday in places we have not yet searched.  

One Thousand Gifts

Thankfulness.  Still after all these months of praising the Lord for the blessings in my life, I find that I often struggle with keeping a positive perspective.  Why is that? Why am I so stubborn?  It reveals to me the depth of the innate darkness that can fill my heart if I am not daily seeking, praying, meditating and breathing in His power and might.

I must think I know something or experience something no one else does in order to preserve my pessimistic attitude. How else can I justify my flawed view of life under God's Grace?

I find it creeps up during the day as the kids get difficult, or when I become aware that my husband might be late, or When I am wiping up the floor for the 15th time that day after someone spills milk, or water, or juice.  I suddenly lose the ability to see my life through a positive perspective, forget I live in a free country, never mind that I can praise my Lord without question, and that happiness is something we enjoy just by living when it comes to a comparison between the US and other countries, or heck my life compared to someone down the street.  Yet, my attitude stinks over the small stuff.  I become complacent regarding the true joys in my life and the abundant blessings God has bestowed, even in my sinfulness.

My hearts longing is that I would find the path to be joyful even amidst the hardest parts of each day, to rise with peace, to move through time with my children with joy and let the difficult or challenging parts of my day roll off without mention, to take them in stride and view them in light of God's amazing Grace.

When I take even just a moment to reflect upon life and its journey through this Grace filled lens I see how absolutely, wonderfully blessed we are and that my challenges and struggles are light in comparison to much greater needs and worries in the world.  Then I consider that in order for my children to attain such a Grace filled perspective I must reflect it to them or they also will grow with the understanding that life, when challenging is not positive, which is so far from the case.  I must model for them the ability to PRAISE God at all times, to see His GLORY in light of all circumstances and to ALWAYS have a heart of praise.

Lord, create in me a clean heart, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.  Lead me beside still waters and show me, daily the path to your righteousness so that I might find peace and joy in you.  Keep my eyes looking upward for my happiness rather than around me so that I can overlook the hardships of each day.  Give me your eyes to see and your ears to hear.  Thank you Father for your unending, unconditional Love!
Amen

Blessings
161.  Fall weather which inspires the holiday spirit
162.  Cool mornings, the smell of dew in the air
163.  My precious daughters instant "hi mommy" when she wakes from sleep
164.  Good friends who share God's truth
165.  God's perfect, flawless and inspired word
166.  Scripture's amazing ability to explain itself without error
167.  God's unending promises
168.  The smell of pancakes on Saturday morning
169.  A husband and daddy coming home after several nights away
170.  The joy our children share with one another when excited
171.  3 big brothers saying goodnight to little sister with kisses and hugs
172.  The movement of little brother as he's almost finished forming and preparing for birth
173.  God's perfecting Timing
174.  Sunsets in Arizona
175.  Fresh fallen rain

One Thousand Gifts

Of all the days to express Thanks to the Father for his Blessings and bask in the unmistakable Grace and Mercy He shows me daily.  It started rough, with much ado about getting dressed, wearing shoes, putting on socks, and taking a trip to the grocery store, which is so necessary from time to time! My patience already short before even approaching the sliding doors at the store. Stern warnings extended to small boys encouraging them to obey, listen, stay close, and speak softly (whispers not often accomplished from the excited mouth of babes).  I quickly prayed and asked God to help me find peace and patience while trying to glide quickly through the store with 4 small angels at my side.

It wasn't long before I could tell it wasn't going to go well.  Maybe those around me might think these babes do well in the store but from my point of view as their mother I knew they were testing every limit set before them.  A warning to keep hands to selves, a request to speak softly, a remark to stay still while I bagged some red, delicious apples for them. Isn't it All for THEM?!  And yet, I find that my 36 week pregnant body, my inability to truly bend over and discuss softly into their ear, and their attempt to find my weakness exhausts me to the core.

And yet, I am reminded, I ought not to expect anything else from them.  As I have recently read, yet again, from Ted Tripp "Shepherding a Child's Heart" they are sinners in need of the same savior I seek daily and request assistance from to keep my sinful heart at bay.  They will always need re-direction, they will always seek to test the limit, they will always hear the sterness from my voice and initially reject the limits set before them.  It is in their very nature to defy authority.  And, yet what a huge responsibility I have before me to teach them obedience to myself and their dad while reflecting the obedience I am commanded to God, out of love, that they too might learn to obey God. For it is not their obedience to me that is the end, rather the means to the end which is a LOVE and PASSION for Christ and to serve and obey God. I am only the model in which God uses to teach.

But, even with knowing this truth and seeking to teach them this obedience, passion and love to Christ, I am daily exhausted at times, moments of weakness, a paling of the Joy I ought to find in my task to raise Christ-fearing children.

In this broken moment I find how perfect God's love is.  How He never loses patience, fails to encourage, rises in Unholy anger and I often could although my desire is the opposite.  He beckons me to the cross, makes well my weakness and upholds me when I cannot go another step.  He humbles himself to wash my feet as I sit with tired legs unwilling to move.  He refreshes my very day.

Counting Blessings
140.  The sweetness in my boys even when they are naughty
141.  Their innocence to the need for Christ
142. The laughter they exude even in high volumnes
143. Christ's passion for a mother's ministry
144. Brotherhood among them
145. Learning opportunities (mostly for me)
146. Daily embedding of Christ into their hearts
147. The memorization of God's word
148. The purity of their passion
149. God's unfailing faithfulness
150. Rest (which can only be found in Jesus)
151. Holding her petite frame and pressing my face to her face
152. Blue eyes of a blonde haired boy smiling on moments after discipline
153. Reading books about our Savior and seeing them know Him even now
154. Hearing them sings praises in the car as we go about life together
155. Their squeals as the worker man comes through the door
156. The LIFE daddy brings to our home (as God designed it to be)
157. Moments with Jesus in the glimpses of quiet
158. My heart broken so that it might Grow
159. A warm dinner and candles lit with little faces peering at them
160. The land of the Free

One Thousand Gifts

This morning I started my new book, "31 Days of Praise" by Ruth Myers.  I didn't know what to expect. I had seen it recommended on Voddie's blog several weeks ago.  I decided to go ahead and order it because it sounded so much like what I was already on the path of doing inspired by Ann.

I stole a few quiet moments this morning in the time between breakfast and play with my children.  We were expecting guests so I had to plan accordingly.  Here are my thoughts and my prayers, as led by Ruth, through Christ's endless love and faithfulness.


... give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

~ 1 Thess. 5:18

My Lord thank you for reminding me each day of your unfailing Love, faithfulness, and complete and perfect nature.  I often forget and limit you to those limitations we have as created beings and forget to worship you as the Creator.  For you are the Alpha and Omega, always God from the beginning to the end.  How could I ever imagine putting my hope in anything other than You?  Why do I allow myself to be deceived by the enemy into thinking that I or he, or someone else has anything over You, the Lord God, who loves and comes to us, to be near to us, hold us, and comfort us at all times.  May I not be confused by my insufficient mind concerning your Glory, Deity, Love, Longsuffering, and Faithfulness to us as we find our way back to your heart.

God's Glorious Gifts as our Creator and King:  
Psalm 27:5; 91:1-2; Matthew 6:25-26; Psalm 23:1-2 Isaiah 62:5b; Zephaniah 3:17-18; Psalm 16:5-6; 107:9

132. Strong Shelter
133. Hiding Place
134. Loving Provider
135. Shepherd who guides and protects
136. My Champion who upholds my cause as His child and defends my highest interests
137. Bridegroom who delights in me
138. My God who is Mighty to Save; who rests in His love for me and rejoices over me with singing and shouts of joy.
139. My inheritance, my share in life, the One who satisfies my longing soul and fills my hungry soul with goodness.


Reasons for Praise:  Psalm 57:2; 138:8; 86:5; 103:8; Matthew 22:37; Jeremiah 32:41; Psalm 37:4; 36:7; 63:7

His love
His Wisdom
Acting on my behalf and accomplishing what concerns me and fulfilling your purpose for me as I call on you.
Your deep love
Your Compassion and Grace
Lovingkindness
Forgiveness, patiently considerate and generous
His desire for my love
His Delight in my heart as I delight myself in you


For my friends who may not know Jesus or have been led astray to follow another Jesus clothed in a liars cloth to appear like the King Most High, I beg of you to know Him and our Lord God as the Word teaches Him to be (the Bible).  Seek for Him and you will find Him.  Call out to Him and He will reveal Himself to you.  With a sincere Heart strive to find Him among the lies of the world and religion.  For you cannot be saved of your own power or will but only by the blood of Christ.  He came to fulfill the law that we might be satisfied in Him.  He goes to prepare a place for us and I hope to see you there when He calls us home.