One Thousand Gifts

Of all the days to express Thanks to the Father for his Blessings and bask in the unmistakable Grace and Mercy He shows me daily.  It started rough, with much ado about getting dressed, wearing shoes, putting on socks, and taking a trip to the grocery store, which is so necessary from time to time! My patience already short before even approaching the sliding doors at the store. Stern warnings extended to small boys encouraging them to obey, listen, stay close, and speak softly (whispers not often accomplished from the excited mouth of babes).  I quickly prayed and asked God to help me find peace and patience while trying to glide quickly through the store with 4 small angels at my side.

It wasn't long before I could tell it wasn't going to go well.  Maybe those around me might think these babes do well in the store but from my point of view as their mother I knew they were testing every limit set before them.  A warning to keep hands to selves, a request to speak softly, a remark to stay still while I bagged some red, delicious apples for them. Isn't it All for THEM?!  And yet, I find that my 36 week pregnant body, my inability to truly bend over and discuss softly into their ear, and their attempt to find my weakness exhausts me to the core.

And yet, I am reminded, I ought not to expect anything else from them.  As I have recently read, yet again, from Ted Tripp "Shepherding a Child's Heart" they are sinners in need of the same savior I seek daily and request assistance from to keep my sinful heart at bay.  They will always need re-direction, they will always seek to test the limit, they will always hear the sterness from my voice and initially reject the limits set before them.  It is in their very nature to defy authority.  And, yet what a huge responsibility I have before me to teach them obedience to myself and their dad while reflecting the obedience I am commanded to God, out of love, that they too might learn to obey God. For it is not their obedience to me that is the end, rather the means to the end which is a LOVE and PASSION for Christ and to serve and obey God. I am only the model in which God uses to teach.

But, even with knowing this truth and seeking to teach them this obedience, passion and love to Christ, I am daily exhausted at times, moments of weakness, a paling of the Joy I ought to find in my task to raise Christ-fearing children.

In this broken moment I find how perfect God's love is.  How He never loses patience, fails to encourage, rises in Unholy anger and I often could although my desire is the opposite.  He beckons me to the cross, makes well my weakness and upholds me when I cannot go another step.  He humbles himself to wash my feet as I sit with tired legs unwilling to move.  He refreshes my very day.

Counting Blessings
140.  The sweetness in my boys even when they are naughty
141.  Their innocence to the need for Christ
142. The laughter they exude even in high volumnes
143. Christ's passion for a mother's ministry
144. Brotherhood among them
145. Learning opportunities (mostly for me)
146. Daily embedding of Christ into their hearts
147. The memorization of God's word
148. The purity of their passion
149. God's unfailing faithfulness
150. Rest (which can only be found in Jesus)
151. Holding her petite frame and pressing my face to her face
152. Blue eyes of a blonde haired boy smiling on moments after discipline
153. Reading books about our Savior and seeing them know Him even now
154. Hearing them sings praises in the car as we go about life together
155. Their squeals as the worker man comes through the door
156. The LIFE daddy brings to our home (as God designed it to be)
157. Moments with Jesus in the glimpses of quiet
158. My heart broken so that it might Grow
159. A warm dinner and candles lit with little faces peering at them
160. The land of the Free