Makeover of the Heart

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalm 37:4

Something to remember: "God said He wanted to remove those walls. He wanted to take out that heart and breathe new life into it. He wanted to pour out His love on her, which He so freely gives. He wanted to heal her heart. He asked if she was willing. Would she allow Him to transform her heart?"

The story of Jabez shows us how abundantly God wants to Bless us. He wants to "give us Kisses from the King" and lavish His love upon us. As a requirement for seeking blessings comes the necessity to allow God's will to unfold in our lives as He holds us perfectly balanced in His hands. Blessings do not and will not come in OUR ways but rather His ways. We ought not ever think His blessings come from something we've done or earned but rather just resting in His salvation, through the Cross, and seeking a relationship with Him. It is a two-fold relationship. I disagree slightly with the study in that we can "let go and let God". I do not think this a true reflection of our relationship with Him. We must take hold of spiritual disciplines and inact our part of the relationship with Him in order to be blessed by God. I understand the meaning of the line but think it distracts from the "relationship" part of what we experience as Christians. We trust God, faithfully seek Him and His will, expect hardship as a Christian it is not always an easy road and we do not live in a "safer" place than the world. We just have the ONE who came to save, who holds us upon high, and blesses us abundantly from His will and how He sees fit!

Questions for Thought:

3. What is God revealing to you as you complete this Study?  How much I often don't take hold of my part of the relationship, such as spiritual disciplines through prayer, reading, quiet time, etc.  I let myself be taken by the distractions of the day rather than intentionally pursuing Him.  Yet, I expect somehow to be Blessed by Him. I know that even my salvation is a blessing and that He is blessing me beyond measure even when I fail to have "relationship" with Him.  But, without the relationship with Him I'm missing so much of the daily, simple, yet amazing blessings He gives.

5.  Write down your thoughts about David and Bathsheba and David being a "man after God's own Heart".  We just went over this in church on Sunday some as we talked about our flesh as seen in Joshua 8 and the pitfalls of our sinful nature and God's response to them out of Love and faithfulness.  David allowed his flesh to distract Him from his God and instead of instantly turning and pursuing God he fell to the flesh with Bethsheba.  The lust of his heart distracted him from his relationship with God.  This did not turn God away from Him. God was faithful to David and loved him enough to reveal his sin to him so that he could not continue in it.  David's relationship with God remained as he repaired what he had done and the distance he created.  I know that I do the same thing and day to day hope and pray that I might be rebuild the relationship between my Father and I as I allow myself to be distracted by "things" of this world and the flesh.

You can find the rest of the questions here.

One Thousand Gifts

In these last weeks, as our home has been solicited by change and what some and myself would consider financial upset, I feel and savor the Savior breathing on us. His hand has not left us nor forsaken us rather been guiding, teaching, stirring, and calling us to walk and serve with Him more.  All-the-more as my husbands schedule has been jolted by much time away and my calling is to now consider myself as a mother of 4 soon to be 5 at home alone for 3 days each week for what could be the next 12 long months.  I asked myself, "is not God walking with me?", "Why now, why this, solitary motherhood for so many days?". I can feel myself defeated under the darkness of Satan's voice within my striving to be Easter Heart.  The tears stir now just thinking about those lonely, hard, long days with him away.  And out of me, towards him, comes anger, not sadness. Vulnerability is not something I like to reveal. I'd rather disguise it under a blanket of anger and frustration.  But the truth behind the emotion is hurt and sadness. 

Yet, within these recent developments and moments of what I would describe as defeat, again I feel Christ's hand on us and His breath covering us in mercy and grace as we move foward with each day.  His light cast's out the darkness and I know there is Joy, Hope, Peace, Love, and Worship to be had in His presence.  I begin to try and fill my days with activities and disciplines that would remind us of His place in our Home that we might humble ourselves before His throne in order to be rejuvenated.  For it is not only that I suffers when he is away but my children are not the same.  They feel my weakness, see my tired eyes, and receive my defeat without me even knowing.  I have no intention of passing this on to them but rather to build them up, keep them busy, nourish them with love and discipline through Faith, and press on towards the goal.  But none-the-less they receive it and we all "suffer" some in his absence.

I am often rejuvenated by the light in their eyes, the love in their hearts and the comfort of holding them close to me.  At times to then be broken with their bickering, yelling, disappointment and obviously needy nature as they are small ones.  They cannot fill the hole in my heart or the tired in my eyes. Only Jesus. My savior.  Help me to find more Him. Help me to seek more of Him.  Help me to find each step to take in Him, so that I may fill them up, guide them correctly, love them unconditionally, and speak to them in Love.

God's mercies are new each morning.  His Love unconditional.  His forgiveness deep.  His encouragement satisfying.  Might I rest in it!  It is in my brokenness that he longs to create something beautiful.

The Path to Praising Jesus

121. Ultimate Rest
122. Quiet Moments to hear the Savior
123. His close presence
124. The Faithfulness of the Father
125. Broken hearts reformed to Love Him More
126. Forgiveness
127. Gentle, quiet mornings with open doors and smiling faces
128. Precious, growing children with whom I've been entrusted with their care
129. Growing Boys
130. Precious, snuggling, loving brown eyed girl
131. The stirring in the womb of God's true miracles
132. The broken in worship of the perfect One, made whole by His blood

Walk with Him Wednesday-Parenting

 I confess that I am, at times, at least once a day, overcome by the volume that life gives off in our home.  God blessed us with boys, amazing, happy, crazy, wild from the earth, BOYS!  As a sign of God's grace and Mercy He then blessed us with a sweet, precious, amazing little girl, our only brunette baby with earthy eyes instead of crystal blue like her brothers.  And now, as she approaches 2 we find that she too has been created from the earth just like the boys and lives in a world where the Louder is the Better! And again, out of His abundant blessings, comes our 5th child....A BOY!!! 

I did not grow up with brothers but I was a tom boy, rough, wild, rugged, engaged in boy activities with boy-friends from the neighborhood.  It was only expected I suppose that the Lord give us Boys!  But, as I said, I confess that the noise in our home sometimes pushes my patience beyond what I think I can bare! 

In an effort to encourage our children to be happy, funny, and to enjoy laughter and play I pray each day for that extra ounce of patience I will need to endure the volume that comes with such activities.  I find, of course, that there are times to encourage and teach them to speak with soft, inside voices, and to refrain from screaming and squealing at every turn. I mean they have to be able to exist in the real world someday and that is a part of that process. 

They are true BOYS, through and through and that little, tiny, precious girl, I'm pretty sure she thinks she is a boy also!  For now, my husband and I allow her to think that and engage with her in those things she find of interest which often happens to be sword fighting, laughing loudly, dancing to music, wrestling, and the rest of the things she sees those CRAAZY BOYS doing from day to day.

Somewhere inside their extremely loud behavior and wild times there is an innocence among them all and a sweetness, although a noisy one, that we find irresistible.  This was an unexpected part of parenting for me and although I'm often reaching into the depths of my ability to withstand the noise, I find that this part of parenting can often also bring the greatest moments of joy!